Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
I chop and I change and the mystery thickens
There's blood on my hands and you want me to listen
To brawn and to brain when the truth's in the middle
Born of the grain like all good riddles
B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
Thy will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make it the most of
Your king- kingdom kingdom kingdom
You kill when you talk and the enemy weakens
Your words start to walk when you're not even speaking
If my heart is a war its soldiers are bleeding
If my heart is a war its soldiers are dead
B-B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
Thy will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make it the most of
Your king- kingdom kingdom kingdom
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
I've lost and I've gained and while I was thinking
You cut off my hands when I wanted to twist
If you know how to dance to Boney Maroney
He's doing the ballet on both of his wrists
B-B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
Thy will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make it the most of
Your k-k- k- k- k- kingdom, king-k- k- k- k
B-B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
And I will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make the most of
Your king- kingdom, kingdom, kingdom
(You're a bitter malignous person)
(And the death is well overdue)
(You suck the blood that kills you)
(You kiss the hand that hates you)
(You're a bitter malignous person)
(And your death is well overdue)
(Your sucking bitter pain)
There's blood on my hands and you want me to listen
To brawn and to brain when the truth's in the middle
Born of the grain like all good riddles
B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
Thy will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make it the most of
Your king- kingdom kingdom kingdom
You kill when you talk and the enemy weakens
Your words start to walk when you're not even speaking
If my heart is a war its soldiers are bleeding
If my heart is a war its soldiers are dead
B-B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
Thy will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make it the most of
Your king- kingdom kingdom kingdom
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do
I've lost and I've gained and while I was thinking
You cut off my hands when I wanted to twist
If you know how to dance to Boney Maroney
He's doing the ballet on both of his wrists
B-B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
Thy will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make it the most of
Your k-k- k- k- k- kingdom, king-k- k- k- k
B-B-B-burn the skin off and climb the roof top
And I will be done
B-B-bite the nose off and make the most of
Your king- kingdom, kingdom, kingdom
(You're a bitter malignous person)
(And the death is well overdue)
(You suck the blood that kills you)
(You kiss the hand that hates you)
(You're a bitter malignous person)
(And your death is well overdue)
(Your sucking bitter pain)
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He certainly did earn that reputation.
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Like a lot of the other comments are saying, I think this mainly about voyeurism. If the song was about his girlfriend, then why would he use the word spy. If you are a spy it means you shouldn't be caught, that is kind of the whole point, and if you are a voyeur, the whole point of the pleasure you get from it, is the fact that the other people don't know you are watching them. See a bit of a connection there?
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Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
@mliem411 I love this song and always wondered by someone was dancing ballet on both of their wrists. I think your explanation is very good but I understood the song to be more global than a disagreement between loved ones. That Ian was singing about society. He used to rail about getting rid of people who pissed him off, people who were bad for society, etc. We all know Mac the Mouth has ideas and solutions for everything in the world.