Come Again

It's a critique/questioning of attitudes toward sex among left-leaning people of the day. In 1981 when the album was released, 3rd wave feminism was a good decade away. The slightest whiff of dominance/submission, even penetration itself was considered to be a reflection of oppressive patriarchy and therefore forbidden. It must be egalitarian and never selfish. Even if we take turns being dominant and submissive, it's WRONG. Men were the perverts, good heavens, never women. Lesley's narrator is questioning whether the person she's in bed with is actually enjoying it. Specifically if they have replaced one set of rules with another set of rules and drained the passion and spontaneity from the act. Since the recording features Paul, the other guitarist, as her vocal foil, people might assume that it's about hetero sex, but Lesley was a lesbian feminist when she wrote it, so I view it in that light. Her narrator's partner could be a guy or a gal who wants to be seen as sensitive and progressive, but it's probably a gal, given the lyricist's perspective. Her narrator is in bed with someone who seems to think they must follow an ideological script when making love. She says "You brought in new rules, which you obey." "You mustn't do this, it may offend her. You must give more than you take away." "But is it real, are you feeling it? To behave a model for others to follow, are you feeling it?" She wants sex to be passionate and to be driven by what she and her partner are feeling, not what their ideology is telling them is "okay." She's saying that if you replace one set of restrictive rules with another set of restrictive rules, then "It's another way to fake." Sleeping with a supposedly progressive and/or enlightened person who is following a strict set of rules isn't that different from sleeping with a selfish person and pretending you like it. Her lover is so afraid to seem aggressive that she doesn't even "know if they want to" (keep going). The narrator's partner has been manually stimulating her for so long that they're getting tired, and she still hasn't gotten off. They're following a script from contemporary (1970's) feminist approved sex manuals which strongly implied that the only "right" way for a woman to get off was via clitoral stimulation, that if she needed or just liked vaginal (god forbid any other orifice) stimulation she was brainwashed by the patriarchy. This was a real thing. Lesley and I are around the same age, Generation Jones, and I remember it from the time. I'm a (mostly) het guy, but I read a lot of the popular female-written books about sex in the 70's. I'm a geek, and I wanted to be good at sex if I ever got to have any. What better way to learn than reading books written by women? The "correct" way to stimulate a woman was via her clitoris, not her vagina. The vagina was for male pleasure, the clitoris was for female pleasure. Maybe Lesley's narrator would have preferred some of both. Or something else entirely. Whatever she and her lover do, it seems she'd prefer it to be driven by desire rather than ideology. As a person of my generation who remembers the sexual politics of that era, and as someone who wants everyone to be as happy as possible in bed, this song has a fond place in my heart. Not incidentally, it rocks like hell. The bass, the drums and Lesley and Paul's scratchy post-punk guitars are amazing. Lesley's comically stern vocal delivery is both funny and a little bit scary.

The sexual meaning is so obvious, since Au Pairs were lesbians (of course not the guy) you have to think of coming as lesbian sex (yes they do come). It's about faking orgasm, but anyone can find some political meaning also, but let's keep it simple, it's about sex.