Your Satellite

Your satellite Is showing you’re in trouble, do you feel all right? All the stories I’d have for you if I could find a way to turn back time But in your life Know there are ones like you who made it out alive All the words we said that we’d soon forget didn’t mean a thing in the end A mother cries And if you hear my words show me and close your eyes Oh and what I would give to speak or maybe have responded to you that night The situation doesn’t leave much room for a compromise ‘Til you wake up, I won’t let go Wake up and give them a show Take the road to the very end Your satellite Is showing childhood friends under a different light Do you question my welcome here? Sometimes I wonder late at night Take the road to the very end No turning back again Take the road to the very end Your satellite Is showing you’re in trouble, do you feel all right? It’s not your kind And now your walls are down as if you’ve lost your mind Satellite Don’t wanna see you move into the other life It’s like the ones we love, we soon forget I won’t ever forget again Take the road to the very end ––––––––––––––––––- I had a best friend in high school. Freshman year, to be exact. his name was Paul. We both shared interest in music. We were metal heads, had long hair, wore all black, and boots. He was better than me at guitar. Much better. Although he was much shorter than me, I always looked up to him. He was a bad influence, but an exciting one. He took me to my first rock concert. I smoked my first cig with him. Got in alot of trouble with him period. But he was a great guy. He was one of the main reasons I began playing music, and we eventually had a falling out and never talked again, until I found out about 6 years later, that he had been in a deadly car wreck and had been in a coma…..for 6 years. I found out while we were on tour during “Versus” and years passed before I even tried to see him. I felt awful, but all I remembered was how much we hated each other after our fight. I just wasnt sure if I was even welcome in his life at this point. I eventually cracked and found his mothers number, called her, and set up a day to go see him in the nursing home. This song, is what I wrote after seeing him there. Here are some key lines, with hidden meaning, that I will shed some light on. The first verse is obvious, if you have been paying attention to my story thus far. The first line that really hits me every time I hear it is, ” If you hear my words, show me and close your eyes “. Its hard for me to even explain this. Seeing someone in a coma in the movies or on television is not even close to the reality of what they look like in the real world. At least, in Paul’s case, it wasnt. I dont want to describe how he looked. Thats between people who knew him well and cared for him. What I will say is that, its like seeing your close friend paralyzed and trapped inside of a paralyzed body. His eyes were always open. So, the line Im referring to…….. I would talk to him. It was like talking to a ghost or a wall. I wasnt sure if he even heard what I was saying or not. Me in a chair leaning into him, talking about how my life had been the last 6 years. His eyes were always wondering back and forth, and I got an idea. I said “Paul, if you hear me, close your eyes”. He closed them almost immediately. I figured it may have been a fluke, so I then said “Good. Paul, if you hear me can you close your eyes twice”, and suddenly he did. I was thrilled and immediately called his mother to tell her. It still could have been chance, but I still would like to believe it wasnt. “Oh and what I would give to speak or maybe have responded to you that night”. That is the next line that holds special meaning to me. I saw Paul maybe a year before his car wreck at the movie theatre. He was leaving with a girl, and I hadnt seen him since our falling out. It had been years since we saw each other but I assumed it would be a bad interaction. He came up to me in great spirit and asked how I was. I was so thrown off, I said I was well and said nothing more. It was very friendly, but short. And shortly after, is when he got in his wreck. I always wished I would have said more now. “Do you question my welcome here? Sometimes I wonder late at night”. That line really outlines how I felt about the entire situation. I hadnt seen my friend in over 6 years ( Im guessing ). And the last memory he most likely had of me was where we left off. Although, the second I walked into his room and saw him on his bed, I really felt that it was a good thing. I would expect the same if I were him, and surely would have been blessed to see anyone that I spent my waking life with. Sometimes I still wonder, but then again, I really dont. My heart goes out to his family and friends, and I honestly hope I kept this story as personal as possible without breaking the privacy of the ones that love him so much.

Taken from wearethepanicdivision.com, for the benefit of those who use songmeanings.