Snakes and Ladders

He
<i>In a shopping mall</i>
Finally met the perfect girl
<i>She is all that matters</i>
The only one in all the world
<i>Like a Barbie doll</i>
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
She
<i>Is to have and hold</i>
Is the perfect air-brushed angel
<i>Makes you hot just looking at her</i>
Stapled into all his braincells
<i>Like a center-fold</i>
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Buy the townhouse
Call the preacher
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Set up credit for the lovely creature
The lovely creature
He
<i>On a corporate climb</i>
Set his sights on power for her
<i>On a silver platter</i>
He gave up happy hour for her
<i>Perrier and lime</i>
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
She
<i>In a handsome world</i>
Put her mind to social graces
<i>All the privileged chatter</i>
Setting pretty table places
<i>For the girls in pearls</i>
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Buy the carphone—
Call the broker
Get to the bottom—climb back up
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom—climb back up
Buy the wife a diamond choker
A diamond choker
True love—true love—true love
He’s so nervous
New love—new love—new love
When he’s with her
Oh—he’s wasting away
True love—true love—true love
It’s so curious
New love—new love—new love
Just to kiss her
To kiss her—to kiss her—to kiss her—
To kiss her—to kiss her—to kiss her—
To kiss her he has to shave
She
<i>In the gilded mirrors</i>
In the swing of fancy places
<i>Where the black ties flatter</i>
Started seeing other faces
<i>Young fogie financiers</i>
Oh, love is snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
See
<i>In the crimes of time</i>
How the seasons steal away
<i>How the rungs are shattered</i>
First you’re green, then you’re grey
<i>Still the snakes unwind</i>
Still playin’ snakes and ladders
Snakes and ladders
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Sell the vineyard
Call the lawyer
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Get to the top and slide back down
Get to the bottom, climb back up
Gather garbage to destroy her
To destroy her
Ladders—ladders—ladders
The perfect girl
Ladders—ladders—ladders
The paper chase <i>Love is snakes and ladders</i>
Ladders—ladders—ladders
The social whirl
Ladders—ladders
The rat race
<i>Barbie doll</i>