I Taught Myself How to Grow Old

My Interpretation on this is that the narrator in the song used to be with a girl that he loved so much and but during that time he was one of the cool guys at school that lived freely(partying and alcohol, etc.) and he wasn't really able to get over his former glory. on the other hand, his girlfriend/ex matured, and started thinking about their future and got a job/career. and since he became much like an alcoholic bum of a sort, he got jealous with the girl having to work all the time having no time for him so didn't felt like "he mattered to her". somewhere in there, they broke up. so one night he went to her place all drunk so he's got this "too drunk to drive" excuse to stay. Trying to somehow patch things between them by telling her that she was "the best he ever had" and that he's really sorry for having "blew up" their relationship years ago, or else they'd still be together. On the second verse he was trying to tell her that all he really want is to be with her and that he has somehow improved that if she'd take him back, he'd no longer drink and sleep around and if she'll accept that he's still in the process of picking himself up and not to expect a great make over, then she might not be let down. The chorus is his way of telling her that they can still do what they used to find exiting or an adrenaline rush and that by doing so, even if the past is gone, they might still be able to pick-up some of the pieces of their past and replace their past failures with a renewed love to take it's place. The last part he says, "she took my heart", means he never got over her and probably never will. The line "there's only one thing I couldn't start", means that he couldn't actually start the conversation with her because he was too drunk to think straight and all of these words were just running inside his head and these were all the things he wanted to tell her.

The way this song speaks to me🥺🥺when I sing it I feel like I relate

Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.

This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines: "Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet" So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other: "I had all and then most of you" Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart "Some and now none of you" Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship. This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"

This song seemingly tackles the methods of deception those who manipulate others use to get victims to follow their demands, as well as diverting attention away from important issues. They'll also use it as a means to convince people to hate or kill others by pretending acts of terrorism were committed by the enemy when the acts themselves were done by the masters of control to promote discrimination and hate. It also reinforces the idea that these manipulative forces operate in various locations, infiltrating everyday life without detection, and propagate any and everywhere. In general, it highlights the danger of hidden agendas, manipulation, and distraction, serving as a critique of those who exploit chaos and confusion to control and gain power, depicting a cautionary tale against falling into their traps. It encourages us to question the narratives presented to us and remain vigilant against manipulation in various parts of society.