Rain Water

"A question was raised to me the other day
Why I seem to always have joy
Well I’d like to take time to set the record straight"
"All the joy I've ever known has disappeared"
In the motherfuckin thin air
Like it's never even been there
My joy done left me y'all
Shit, I'll never hang my head though
[Chorus]
God's rain water flows through the same gutter that we walk today
Gotta stay brave brother, keep your lip stiff, keep your fist clenched
At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch
And I cant stop feeling guilty smiling
A wise man once told me that every cloud has a silver lining
I wanted to believe him, but it’s a trick to find ‘em
When the people around me continue dying
Granddad was in the twilight of his life
When he closed his eyes tight and opened his wrists wide
What make a 10th round fighter with a winning score
Decide he need to throw a towel ’fore the whistle blow
Maybe I'll never know
But I inherited his poetic soul so the symbolism’s yet to show
Was life so obscene that death's more serene
Or was an old author trying to write his own closing scene
Nothing stings like, knowing that the woman that gave me this life
Is being eaten from the inside, I thought we’d never make shit right
I wish I’d have viewed it once clear before you were done here
That’s two in one year that I let leave here
Loving me without shedding one single tear
Either I’m one of the strongest people left
Or y'all should stone me for even trying to steal breath
[Chorus x2]
They say shit's bad for you, all by yourself aint’cha?
Damn straight, I got a jail cell nature
Been boxed up but I never been settled in
Him got tough started developin leather skin
I learned to make that face that tells predators
Its better to reassess just who you’re bout to wrestle with
I’m on one like the first kick drum of the beat
Clear my lungs, spit blood on the street
They tellin me we got nothing to fear but fear itself
But I fear I have no human fear left
Someday I’m gonna want to peel back these calluses
And really feel life again, and that’s where my challenge is
I been kickin and bitin for so long
And when they throw me a rescue rope I'll be too weary to hold on and see the light
So I sing through the tears in the key of life the way a wounded ego might
[Chorus x2]
My joy done left me y'all
She don’t show her face around these parts
Every time she comes she gets chased off
So she stays distant
If it weren’t for me squintin, he wouldn’t know the sun was out
I hate every word that come out of his fucking mouth
Ladies treat him special, don’t know nothing bout him
They saw what his wife see, they wouldn’t fuss about him
He cant do shit right but rap and make babies
And babies need daddy at home consistent
But rap keep daddy on the road religious
So even in my true loves, my soul's so conflicted
My son came into this world innocent
He deserves everything that he needs to live in it
And this home I made for him is broken
I’m hoping his love for me will never grow thin
It hurts daddy to no end to know when
You’re crying at the hospital I’m out trying to rock a show
I made a vow that we’d never be broke again
And I’d never be a burden on another friend
So when I'm sweating on my farewell stage
And wrote my last hook in my last rhyme book
When I get my last nod of approval from my family
This is the man that I have to be
[Chorus x4]
"Sometimes
I feel like I'm almost gone
Sometimes
I feel like I'm almost gone
You ever felt that way"