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How to Be Dumb Lyrics
i was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
while you were living like a saint
and all the time the very one you trusted was washing off somebody else's paint
now you've got yourself a brand new occupation
every fleeting thought is a pearl
and beautiful people stampede to the doorway of
the funniest fucker in the world
they're here to help you
satisfy your desires
there's a bright future for all you professional liars
(chorus)
now you know how to be dumb
are you ready to take your place in
the modern museum of mistakes?
don't you know how to be dumb?
like a building thrown up overnight
in one of those reverse earthquakes
they emptied out all the asylums
they emptied out all the gaols
the "new bruise" was the name of a dance craze
by "jesus cross and the cruel nails"
followed up by "torturing little beaver"
with their contraption of barbed wire
between the fear and the fever lies all the rejection they require
they'll be howling by midnight
they'll be drooling by dawn
skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains
heads shaven and shorn
(chorus)
trapped in the house of the perpetual sucker
where bitterness always ends so pitifully
you always had to dress up your envy in
some half-remembered philosophy
now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
whose every bad intention has been purged
you could've walked out any time you wanted
but face it you didn't have the courage
i guess that makes you a full-time hypocrite
or some kind of twisted dilettante
funny though people don't usually get so ugly
'til they think they know what they want
scratch your own head stupid
count up to three
roll over on your back
repeat after me
(chorus)
This is about Attractions bassist Bruce Thomas after he penned a thinly veiled tell-all about Elvis Costello and the Attractions called "The Big Wheel". Costello and Bruce Thomas remain estranged.
This song is a poison pen to Bruce Thomas, as most everyone knows by now.
I actually read "The Big Wheel." It isn't what most people think it's going to be. "The Singer" is called neurotic, but otherwise it isn't terribly disparaging of Costello. It is closer to Kerouac's "On the Road," than a tell-all memoir. It mostly deals with the grind and craziness of touring with a sprinkling of funny anecdotes. (The Chuck Berry story is a killer.)
Much later I heard Thomas in an interview say he wasn't fired because of the book, but he allowed people to think that to boost interest. I imagine it was just one of a number of conflicts the two of them had that led up to a parting. Costello has since been very complimentary of Thomas's playing--and rightly so. Some of those bass lines are as iconic as anything in pop music. I think they are on friendly terms now, but with no desire to work together again. The Imposter's bassist Davey Faragher is an excellent player, and can sing too.