December

"and now i'm crossing my fingers, cause nothing else helps, and I don't want to forget you but I can't help myself"

This really outlines the entirety of the song, I think. I feel like the premise is something akin to a "December" fling (maybe with a person born in June? >"and though your eyes were december when you had june in your heart") that turned into more than just a fling by the way Bulat's talking about it with the repeated line, "I want to hang on even though you're gone." Maybe there was an element of wanting to reside in the other party too, because of how eager she made them out to be with their "restless" hands.

Bulat had a winter fling, but found both the other person and herself investing more than just a fling into what they had, and although I don't think she'd ever admit to the other person that she wanted them to stay ("I never knew how you felt" implies that she didn't tell them to stay), she does want them to, but she's reasoning with herself in an effort to console the part of her that is hurting that "it won't be long 'til winter's gone again," which is in effect saying that it won't be long before she moves on. At least, that's what she's telling herself.

Something about her words seem incredibly hollow and unsupported, as though she's unsure of her own logic. I feel like this song emulates the lack of confidence you sometimes feel when stepping out of a fling that meant a little more than it should've.