Bang the Doldrums is one of my fave's on IoH, and I didn't seem to find it as cryptic as most other people. But anyway, here's what I think:

"I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm when you passed out, I couldn’t bring myself to call, except to call it quits,"

This is pretty straightforward. I think they (the couple, I mean - probably Pete and Jenae) get drunk and sleep together and he wants her way more than she does him. He has a thing with commitment and intimacy, I mean, even the way he broke up with her is temporary. It can't be saved like a letter or text could.

He couldn't bring himself to call her, so he never did. 'Calling it quits' doesn't necessarily mean he called her, the lipstick note could qualify as such.

"Best friends, ex-friends to the end, Better off as lovers and not the other way around,"

There's a serious play on words here, definately added to confuse. Here's my interpretation: they were best friends, now 'ex-friends to the end'. By 'better off as lovers, not the other way around' I think he means they're not 'lovers better off'.

"Racing through the city, windows down, In the back of yellow-checkered cars."

I think this simply implies a sense of urgency and desire - racing through the city (Chicago, perhaps?) together, infatuated.

"You're all wrong, Are we all wrong? You're all wrong, Are we all wrong?"

Here I think he's simply questioning the situation. The relationship is so messed up - is it worth it?

"This city says; Come Hell or high water, when I’m feeling hot and wet, I can’t commit to a thing, be it heart or hospital,"

The City. Again, this could be L.A., Chicago, or New York (all of which Pete Wentz, the main lyricist, spends a lot of time). Come hell or high water is usually used to imply loyalty or staying power. Perhaps she promised to be there hell or high water, and now that both are there, what is she gonna do?

The next line is simple: he can't commit to a relationship - he just uses the hospital metaphor to emphasis how large his phobia is.

"The tombstones are waiting, They were half engraved, They knew it was over, Just didn’t know the date."

This is probably one of the most straight-forward FOB lyrics ever. The relationship was doomed from the beginning - it was a matter of when, not if.

"And I cast a spell over the West to make you think of me, The same way I think of you,"

Maybe he's talking about Hollywood, maybe he's talking about the chick - who knows? He just wants to be accepted and thought of and loved.

"This is a love song in my own way, Happily ever after, below the waist."

Possibly one of my favorite lines on the album. This is a love song is his own way, as close as he can come to love - obsession, infatuation, and lust. Happily ever after below the waist just serves the drive the point home. Sexual satisfaction is as close to happily ever after as they'll ever come.

Amazing song - great lyrics, but all FOB songs are mindblowing. I think I've got it down pat - who knows? Everbody reads them and thinks something different.

lol this is totally about mikey god

I love Pete Wentz I wish gay people were real

this is called 'never date your best friend since you were five because that is exactly how it will feel: best friends, ex friends 'til the end.' you will break up or almost break up and get into fights multiple times and get back together, realize that it wasn't meant to be, and then people will question your friendship for the rest of eternity...after it ends, at which point you're just friends.

i feel like this song is about getting into a relationship that has been toxic from the very start.

"i couldnt bring myself to call, except to call it quits" he cant find the courage to tell the person that he wants to break up with them so he ghosts them "bestfriends, ex-friends to the end" they tried to stay as friends but it obviously didnt work well

"The tombstones are waiting, They were half engraved, They knew it was over, Just didn’t know the date."

this is my favourite part of the song since it has so much meaning to it. "the tombstones were waiting" means from the very begining of the relationship it was ready to be over. it was never going to last. "they knew it was over" both of them knew it wasnt gonna last no matter how hard they try. "just didnt know the date" the same thing again but they both had no idea when it would be over.

"And I cast a spell over the West to make you think of me, The same way I think of you, This is a love song in my own way, Happily ever after, below the waist."

he still misses her but his ex partner doesnt because (in my opinion) the relationship was never love. it was lust but he has grown attatched to them because he thinks its love.

this is what i think its about. pls reply if you think im wrong lol

this song is bassed off an old blog like someone already pointed out- said blog was about mikeyway. so technically this song would be about mikeyway, too.

mikeyway was a special someone during warped '05, and (pete) had a crush on him at the time- it was nearly adoration. but at the same time (he) knew it wouldn't work out no matter what. here it's explained how they were bestfriends, and then had a night together, causing them to be "ex-friends" and become "lovers", which to pete's eyes was better than being just friends. ("i wish you were my bass, not just my friend")

THIS SONG IS ABOUT MIKEY WAY NUFF SAID

SWEETLITTLEDUDES

two words:

mikey way

This song is about Mikey way. Proof: crucios.tumblr.com/post/42380127787/love-cant-save-you-a-petemikey-otp-post-im-so

This is about Mikey. Three words summer of like.