Do Bears

(As performed with Rowan Atkinson at Comic Relief in 1986)

Rowan:

For years I thought I'd have to live alone
I never got a letter, had to disconnect the phone
The only girls I ever saw were on TV
But now I've got a Venus who's sitting next to me

Both:

Do I love you?
Do I want you?
Would I give my life to you if I could?
Do birds fly?
Do fish swim?
And do bears sha-la-la-la...
In the woods?

Rowan:

I met her in the first class lounge of a jumbo jet
It was love at first sight, Romeo and Juliet

Kate:

He looked pretty rich and I was down on m' luck
So I charged him a fortune for a flying fu...

Rowan:

...for crying out loud!

Both:

Do I love you?
Do I want you?
Would I sacrifice my life to you if I could?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Is Luxembourg small?
And do those hairy bears shhh...
In the woods?

Rowan:

I introduced her round my friends - she was ace
I was no longer on Earth but in a better place

Kate:

He's an utter creep and he drives me round the bend
And to alleviate the boredom I sleep with his friends

Both:

Do I love you?
Do I want you?

Kate:

Would I tear out both my eyes
And fry them if I could?

Both:

Is the Bible fiction?
Is True Love a contradiction?
And do bears sha-la-la-la-la...
In the woods?

Do I desire you?
Do I adore you?

Rowan:

Would I cut off all my toenails
And put them in an envelope with my feet?

Both:

Is Reagan Godhead?
Is Chairman Mao dead?
And do those bears sha-la-la-la-la...?
Do those bears sha-la-la-la-la...?
Do those bears sha-la-la-la-la...?

Rowan:

On Main Street...?