You Can Make Him Like You

I love this song as well, but I feel it's more satirical (sarcastic?) than literal. To me, it's an indictment against girls who live their lives through their boyfriend(s). They don't have to go to good schools or know how to get home or be inspiring, just as long as they're dating someone who matches those descriptions. And then, if they're growing tired of their life or feel like they need to change or mature, instead of actually working on themselves and growing as a human being, they just get a different or more mature boyfriend. To me, Craig Finn is telling girls, "Don't settle for that crap. You are NOT a bruise that needs to be covered. Be your own person. Live your own life. Expect great things of YOURSELF."

i disagree with treblejones and mtfujiinmypants about the voice of the song drastically. i feel like he isn't necessarily saying that these girls are horrible or awful but rather that they are sad, conflicted. he shows that there is obviously conflict ("it only get's kinda weird when you wanna get high alone"). i don't see this so much as a declaration against such behavior but rather a solemn observation. this is is incredibly sad, but i wouldn't call it sarcastic or satirical at all.

I kind of feel that "you can make him like you" is a double entendre. If you interpret the song title like that, it becomes more of an indictment of intergender relationships, which sticks to the theme of the rest of the album. The line speaks about how men so easily succumb to manipulation, but also what happens to the relationship in general. "You can make him like you" also means that she's making him as miserable as she is...spreading the sadness.

The thing is when on stage, Craig stresses 'you CAN make him like you', as if to say it's empowering to women.

But really the; "they say you don't have a problem untill you start to do it alone" bit suggest it's more about how girls sacrifice their entire selves for a relationship..

It's about how a boyfriend can weigh you down and stifle your potential. Even if it's only your potential to do drugs

This song is very clearly calling society out for the cultural pressure on women to see themselves as secondary and how crappy it is to be that young woman who hasn’t yet convinced herself that she doesn’t have to filter her interests through a guy or rely on a guy to get what she wants. She can develop her own interests and handle herself. But when young women do this, we get a ton of shit for wanting to be capable in our own right.

If she’s interested in motorcycles, she doesn’t have to find herself a guy with a bike and ride on the back; she can go out and learn to ride. If she wants drugs, she shouldn’t be expected to sit back and let the dude pay and supply; she doesn’t have to owe a guy for providing the drugs, she can get her own. Or, she can buy for her and her guy. She can throw a party for her own friends and they can have inspiring conversations; house parties aren’t reserved for the guy’s guests, despite fraternity/sorority culture. She doesn’t have to be the passive party.

It’s crazy to me that so few of the comments pay attention to the last two stanzas. “They say you don't have a problem / Until you start to do it alone / They say you don't have a problem / Until you start bringing it home / They say you don't have a problem / Until you start sleeping alone”. In other words, no one gives her any guff for her interests when she’s allowing these guys to be the ones who get to take action while she sits back and chills, waiting passively. She’s a woman, so she’s allowed to sit back and remain inactive without comment. But when, as a young woman, you try to free yourself from the pressure to remain inert and unskilled and realize your interests for yourself, all of a sudden people hate on you like its their job. All of a sudden, your interests are so weird and problematic and fake and you get judgement from everyone and evverywhere. If you’re an accessory to a dude, your interests can be normal. If you’re independent, your interests are a problem.

There’s this pressure in society that encourages women and girls to leave skill development and leadership to men who will do the dirty work for them. But who wants to be the secondary character?

Let me tell you, it sucks to be a young woman who wants to help build the family cabin only to be told she can’t help because it’s a job for the men in the family. It sucks to grow up and have your father never think to teach you basic home improvement skills because you’re his daughter and not his son. It sucks to like motorcycles growing up and have men tell you you’re too small to pick one up, so you’ll never own one. It sucks to realize you never developed certain skills because all your life men around you were encouraging you to rely on them. When you start to insist on actually participating actively in your interests and learning skills, that’s when you get the push back from men who don’t want women in their domains. It really sucks. Society pats these young women on the heads and tells them not to worry their pretty little heads about X, because women aren't encouraged to be their own people,separate from men.

I don't think Craig sees this girls as horrible people either. They're portrayed as being sad and kind of pathetic. He's watching these girls who bend and twist who they are just to be with some guy. Yeah, you can make him like you, but at what price? Instead of learning from the mistake, they do it over and over "there's always other boys, you can make him like you." They never grow because they don't think it's necessary. "It only gets kind of weird when you wanna get high alone" or "It only gets inconveneint when you wanna go home alone", those are the only times the girls think about how much of themselves are wrapped up in these guys. Other than that, they're content to "hang in the kitchen."

selfishisgorgeous... i'm a girl, and i don't think it's empowering... coz it's totally not! one thing nobody has mentioned yet is what this song is saying about the guys that this girl can make like them...! if this girl is sucha personality-lacking leech... doesn't that reflect poorly on all the dudes she can make like her?... and then she's the one who gets bored of him and moves on first...? sad.

I mean, think about it. If you're a beautiful woman, you've got the world at your fingertips. There is some rich person out there that will do anything and everything for you just to be with you. And all you've got to do is put out. And I think beautiful girls are faced with that indecision. Do I take advantage of this, or be who I am and find someone I care about regardless of my looks? And I think this song is about the girl that's like "Hell, I'm hot, I don't need to do anything except be hot and some guy, whoever he is, will take care of the rest." But it only gets inconvenient when you have to go home alone," I think that means there will always be an emptiness inside you unless you ignore the superficial and just be who you are.

i love this song so much. and i love that a guy sings it. it's so reassuring...