I Wish I Was a Lesbian

I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go
And all their yucky, yucky facial hair and all their machismo
I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
I'd sleep with women only, man, it would be great
I'd throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate
I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!

I wish I were a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke
I'd sleep with k.d. lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike
I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung
It shouldn't really matter how somebody is hung
Other things are more important, like how you use your tongue
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!
I DARE Casey Kasem to play this!

I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go
And all their yucky facial hair and all their machismo
(I hate that machismo!)
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!