This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
I can feel the night beginning
Separate me from the living
Understanding me
After all I've seen
Piecing every thought together
Find the words to make me better
If I only knew how to pull myself apart
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
I believe that dreams are sacred
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby
Like a reason why
Like a play of my obsessions
Make me understand the lesson
So I'll find myself
So I won't be lost again
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
Guess I thought I'd have to change the world
To make you see me
To be the one
I could have run forever
But how far would I have come
Without mourning your love
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
Should it hurt to love you?
Should I feel like I do?
Should I lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
I can feel the night beginning
Separate me from the living
Understanding me
After all I've seen
Piecing every thought together
Find the words to make me better
If I only knew how to pull myself apart
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
I believe that dreams are sacred
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby
Like a reason why
Like a play of my obsessions
Make me understand the lesson
So I'll find myself
So I won't be lost again
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
Guess I thought I'd have to change the world
To make you see me
To be the one
I could have run forever
But how far would I have come
Without mourning your love
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
Should it hurt to love you?
Should I feel like I do?
Should I lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
Lyrics submitted by Liquid-Spear-Waltz
All That I'm Living For Lyrics as written by John Le Compt Amy Lee
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Reservoir Media Management, Inc.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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I listen to these lines over and over again: "Guess I thought I'd have to change the world to make you see me to be the one I could have run forever"