Ampersand

This song does talk about one specific relationship, but in general, its saying that you can't let your relationships define you. You are a whole person, with or without your significant other. Literally: "I am Amanda Palmer. I am a whole person. I am not half of Amanda & So-and-so."

MrsO is right here. the bit about the Ghetto boys proves it

"i always shock them when i answer "hi, my name's Amanda'" literally "i am not some chick who's not even going to sleep with you. i am Amanda, i am my own person."

This song had to grow on me, but now that it has a like it a lot.

I agree with others- it's about not wanting to be the other half to someone else's whole. When I listen to the song I get the image of a slightly obsessive ex boyfriend who plays the "I can't live without you/you're my everything" card - "but you were awful adament that if I didn't love you then you have just one alternative". To me this song is a response to that sort of behaviour - that she can only be herself, and has no time for the concept of only being seen as one half of "you & me". It's the realisation that it's this very sort of thinking that drives a person crazy, and if you enter into it you "lose your voice completely".

I really like the fact that although the song IS about her inability to commit and be half of a pair... It also adds that extra slighty unbalanced nature so typical of her work. If you read the lyrics carefully, you realise that the thread of it is as follows...

She walks past a group of firefighters. She reaches home and talks to the boys (highlighting her expression of personal freedom) She contemplates her past fascination with fire, and with her partner. She realises that he is all into commitment and she is not. She leaves him. She wakes up and the fire she saw earlier has "ironically" burnt down the whole bock except her apartment.

Why is this ironic.... It is because SHE STARTED THE FIRE!

She is in FACT! the crazy one in the song... or IS she?

This layering of Palmer's songs are what makes them fascinating as lyrics. And the music totally contemplates this multiplicity.

"I walk down my street at night The city lights are cold and violent I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help the dying And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling" It's an endless cycle of the same old shitty relationships. I agree that the 'flames' are referring to previous break-ups. It seems like verybody ahs better luck then she does. Everyone is always getting help and she's stuck in one place with no way to get out.

"The ghetto boys are catcalling me As I pull my keys from my pocket I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective Has any girl in history said "Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on" Still, I always shock them when I answer, "Hi, my name's Amanda" It's one side of the "ampersand". This particular side is referring to the men who onnly want sex out of a relationship. All she wants is to be treated as a person i.e "Hi, my name's Amanda."

"And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy" It goes with the second verse. She doesn't want to constantly be in a relationship like that. No matter how much she tries to argue that's how it seems it's always going to be, so she's just not going to waste her breath trying to get something out of nothing. She's wondering if she's crazy for actually wanting a meaningful relationship.

"I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant And now to dress the wounds calls into question how authentic they are There's always someong criticizing me: "She just likes playing hospital" Lying in my bed, I remember what you said: "There's no such thing as accidents" She looks back on previous relationships and thinks about how much they were fucked up and how the seemed to just go up in flames. But, she does nothing about it because she thinks you HAVE to be strong to survive and wouldn't let anyone see her true emotions. It goes back to people always telling her that she had to be strong constantly becasue when she wasn't "she was just playing hospital."

"But you've got the headstone all ready, all drawn up and pretty Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching The headstone's all push up'n, pairs to the horizon Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying

The headstone's all ready, all carved up and pretty Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching The daisies all push up'n, pairs to the horizon Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying" The side of the "ampersand" The relationship isn't just based on sex and has no meaning. But, in this case he's past the point of obssesion. If he dies she dies. If she dies he dies. He already has the headstones picked out for some "Romeo and Juliet" type of deal.

"But I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy"

Ties in with the previous verse. She doesn't want to just have a relationship like that. There comes a point where there can be too much love and too much dependency. And yet, it seems like to matter what she always finds herself with the 'crazy' ones. Once again she wonders if she, herself is crazy for wanting an enjoyable realtionship...

"As I wake up to a cough, the fire burned the block but ironically Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly And nobody deserves to die for you were awful adament That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative" He tried killing her for love by setting her apartment on fire, which strangley stopped at her apartment. He was madly in love with her, but she wasn't with him. She wasn't willing to die for love in this, he on the other hand was and that's why he tried to kill her. [like romeo and juliet]

"And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy " She would be willing to risk her life for the one she loved in a relationship, but not in this case. She thinks she's crazy for actually wanting something from the other side of the amersand and not contantly having to live on this particular side where her relationships fail and she's not happy what-so-ever.

And "I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand" is such a strong, feminist statement, love it. Amen.

love this song, not sure about how correct the lyrics are though. it's actually..

I have wasted years of my life Agonizing about the fires It started when I thought that to be strong you must be flame retardant And now to dress the wounds calls into question How authentic they are

she changes her lyrics alot...theres probably lots of different versions. i got mine from her myspace. its an amzin sone. ill coment again later.

There's an "l" missing: She just likes paying hospital ^

My absolute favorite song of all time, glory amen. __ampersand is bang on.