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Oh Sweet Woods Lyrics

I was in Tahoe, on the California side,
waiting in the lobby at 665 1/2 Frontage Road
when two extra-blond short sleeve button-down
white-shirt blue-tie mystery Mormons
came in and put this music on:
came in and took me by the arm,
and as they had me marching through the parking lot-
and as they were marching through the parking lot-
they blew into their shirt-pocket microphones
like this:
And then they drove me to an Albertson's outside of Boise
and took me into a back room.
and they said they wanted to balance my checkbook;
and they said they wanted to organize my receipts
and itemize my expenses
and that I had the key
to a safety deposit box,
with treasury bonds and the key
to another safety deposit box
where I'd stashed away
the only pewter pocket watch
that ever belonged to
Joseph Smith's Great-Great Uncle's
Brother-in-Law.
And I said, "You've got the wrong Eleanor Friedberger."
And then they sang at me like this:
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Cover art for Oh Sweet Woods lyrics by Fiery Furnaces, The

this is what i think: two mormons try and bribe her into giving them the key to the pocket watch that belonged to the distant DISTANT reletive of Joseph Smith in exchange for doing her books but they've gotten the wrong person.

i think.

 
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