Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
[Verse 1]
Dear Jacob
I won't take up too much of you time
I know you're trying to get your video game-grind on
And that's fine
Just gimme a second to empty my face
Before I hit the road again to go and win this paper chase
I've been watching you man
I'm proud of you man
You're growing up to be the best man that you possibly can
I know you understand
Why I go out of town
I also know my days are colder when you're not around
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be adapted to the fact
That daddy never lived inside the same shack
And sometimes I get this pain in my stomach's pit
It's what I get
I'm convinced it's my punishment
For those nights I got drunk and let go at some bar
In some city with some people I don't know
For all the times that the lines on your face
Reminded me of the days before the dagonflies escaped
It trips me out how you pick up all my traits
From the way that you spit to the fists that you make
I watch the way you try to keep your mom happy
Daddy learned that from you
You're supposed to learn that from daddy
I can't teach much when it comes to women
I drive safe and slow but don't know nothing 'bout the engine
You're doing good little man that's all I really meant
I love you
You're my best friend, thanks for listening
[Verse 2]
Dear Craig
What up bones? How it goes?
Yeah, me? Well, you know, you know, same old, same old
Sorry that the phone calls ain't too routine
Just been runnin' around the globe tryin' to do my thing
Sometimes the weeks fly a little too fast
And sometimes I go to sleep a little too trashed
Other times I'm not sittin' on enough cash
And other times today feels too much like the past
Sometimes at night I would watch y'all fight
A child wonderin'
Why your life just ain't alright?
What's the violence about? Why's it in my house?
And even the memories are turned up too loud
Yeah, I got some issues in my head
Knew we should've started fixing 'em back when she left you
I'm not trying to get you down, I know you're different now
But your little man justs wants you to listen now
I'm over thirty, can't maintain relations
All these women wanna hurt me and I just don't have the patience
I can't trust 'em
And they're not much help
When they start to push and pull the buttons I don't trust myself
What pride, fists, and words just might do?
I'm afraid of my fate, don't wanna turn out like you
I've never hit a woman
I won't do coke
And for that alone I love you and I wanna thank you old man
[Verse 3]
Dear Sean
What's goin' on?
Not much to say
Just checkin' in wit'cha trying to see what's wrong today
I know there's gotta be something kickin' your bruises
How's the love? How's the music? How's the self-abusiveness?
Got a lot to lose, it's breakin' your shoulders
So you let your paranoia place your bets for you
Too many cigarettes, messin' up your voice
Too many arguments, tryin' to test your poise
The only women that love you are fans and family
Mom has no choice, but fans leave you randomly
No heavy rotation
In any location
You're not ready to face that you have no steady vocation
Plus you're gettin' old, your raps are exhausted
Stop it, everybody knows that you've lost it
Singin' for these kids you don't know
When you should be at home with your own instead you're on your telephone
Fightin' with your girl like it's you against the world
Another drunk hotel bedroom corner, curled up like a naked fetus
Come and save him Jesus
Place him back in time before the Reaganomics and Adidas
Sometimes you're not impressed with the work you've done
And love isn't love if you didn't hurt someone
Your son says, "Hi dad."
Your dad says, "what's up?"
And me, I wanna thank you, but I won't, I'll just say, "Good luck."
Dear Jacob
I won't take up too much of you time
I know you're trying to get your video game-grind on
And that's fine
Just gimme a second to empty my face
Before I hit the road again to go and win this paper chase
I've been watching you man
I'm proud of you man
You're growing up to be the best man that you possibly can
I know you understand
Why I go out of town
I also know my days are colder when you're not around
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be adapted to the fact
That daddy never lived inside the same shack
And sometimes I get this pain in my stomach's pit
It's what I get
I'm convinced it's my punishment
For those nights I got drunk and let go at some bar
In some city with some people I don't know
For all the times that the lines on your face
Reminded me of the days before the dagonflies escaped
It trips me out how you pick up all my traits
From the way that you spit to the fists that you make
I watch the way you try to keep your mom happy
Daddy learned that from you
You're supposed to learn that from daddy
I can't teach much when it comes to women
I drive safe and slow but don't know nothing 'bout the engine
You're doing good little man that's all I really meant
I love you
You're my best friend, thanks for listening
[Verse 2]
Dear Craig
What up bones? How it goes?
Yeah, me? Well, you know, you know, same old, same old
Sorry that the phone calls ain't too routine
Just been runnin' around the globe tryin' to do my thing
Sometimes the weeks fly a little too fast
And sometimes I go to sleep a little too trashed
Other times I'm not sittin' on enough cash
And other times today feels too much like the past
Sometimes at night I would watch y'all fight
A child wonderin'
Why your life just ain't alright?
What's the violence about? Why's it in my house?
And even the memories are turned up too loud
Yeah, I got some issues in my head
Knew we should've started fixing 'em back when she left you
I'm not trying to get you down, I know you're different now
But your little man justs wants you to listen now
I'm over thirty, can't maintain relations
All these women wanna hurt me and I just don't have the patience
I can't trust 'em
And they're not much help
When they start to push and pull the buttons I don't trust myself
What pride, fists, and words just might do?
I'm afraid of my fate, don't wanna turn out like you
I've never hit a woman
I won't do coke
And for that alone I love you and I wanna thank you old man
[Verse 3]
Dear Sean
What's goin' on?
Not much to say
Just checkin' in wit'cha trying to see what's wrong today
I know there's gotta be something kickin' your bruises
How's the love? How's the music? How's the self-abusiveness?
Got a lot to lose, it's breakin' your shoulders
So you let your paranoia place your bets for you
Too many cigarettes, messin' up your voice
Too many arguments, tryin' to test your poise
The only women that love you are fans and family
Mom has no choice, but fans leave you randomly
No heavy rotation
In any location
You're not ready to face that you have no steady vocation
Plus you're gettin' old, your raps are exhausted
Stop it, everybody knows that you've lost it
Singin' for these kids you don't know
When you should be at home with your own instead you're on your telephone
Fightin' with your girl like it's you against the world
Another drunk hotel bedroom corner, curled up like a naked fetus
Come and save him Jesus
Place him back in time before the Reaganomics and Adidas
Sometimes you're not impressed with the work you've done
And love isn't love if you didn't hurt someone
Your son says, "Hi dad."
Your dad says, "what's up?"
And me, I wanna thank you, but I won't, I'll just say, "Good luck."
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The way this song speaks to me🥺🥺when I sing it I feel like I relate
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Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
The Night We Met
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This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
this song is amazing in every aspect. left me speechless.