Honey

So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to pick up the fact that this is one super polarizing song. It seems people either love it and lose their s#$t crying over it because they perceive it as a sad, moving little song about a man mourning the loss of his wife. Or they despise it for being saccharine, cloying and generic. I can say whole heartedly that I fall very much into the former category in terms of reaction, IE, I bawl like a baby. However, it seems the reasoning is a bit on the unconventional side. My interpretation of this song is not that it is simply a sentimental rumination of a sad man mourning the death of wife, but instead a tragic and somewhat sinister allusion to an incredibly unhealthy relationship between a deeply selfish, oblivious man and a clinically depressed woman that who was driven to suicide in large part by his selfishness that he remains oblivious to. This only really becomes apparent when you remove the melody of the song a focus entirely on the lyrics, but my god, read between the lines and it's very plain that whats being described is actually an incredibly toxic relationship. The narrator alludes from the beginning that he often laughs at his wife, either because she sliped and hurt herself, it which case no husband should ever be laughing, or simply because he perceives her as being very childish. He even inadvertently puts her down several time over the coarse of the song, such as when he describes her as "Kinda dumb" but far more tellingly the reasoning behind his perception of her being immature is rooted in the allusion that she is overly compassionate, such as her actions with the sapling tree in the snow, or the fact that she demonstrates extreme emotional fragility, as he often finds her crying for reasons very minor of no apparent reason at all. Every one of those behaviors can very easily be interpreted as manifestations of clinical depression. As if that's not enough, he alludes that she was frightened of his abusive temper over her damaging the car, then he confirms those fears by alluding that he went out of his way to act angry about it, neither one of those sentiments indicates a healthy relationship I can tell you. Then the fact that he says that he was just out one day for some unspecified reason and the "Angels came" what is that about? He never said honey was suffering from a terminal illness, he never alluded it was a murder, so we can presume his wife probably committed suicide from her depression, and through it all he remains totally unaware or in denial about the role he played in driving his wife to that state. And the truly tragic part is that for all his flaws, he's not a monstrous sociopath or anything. He obviously loved his wife in his way and misses her, he even demonstrates that he at least made attempts to please her, like buying her a puppy for Christmas, yet the very next line boomerangs back around to how the dog negatively affected him with it's barking, providing a final indication to how deeply his selfishness runs and the tragic reality of how often people walk in and out of toxic relationships and how easy it is for bad things to happen not simply because people themselves are inherently bad just mentally damaged and emotionally non functioning. Whew!!! Anyway that's my two-thousand cents, hope it was interesting and expanded people's appreciation for this musical poem.

this song is so beautiful and sad :(

This song is pretty hokey as far as songs go. I love it though, I think its very bittersweet. I'm not ashamed.

I love a song with a story in it and this one is great beautiful and sad even if it is a big creamy cheese cracker. I first heard it as a child and can still remember my mothers disappointed face when I asked her if honey had died from a head injury caused by the car accident. Thinking back her answer was even stranger as she told me honey passed away with cancer. Which is what most people think and it says nothing about that in the song.

This song hits home in more than one way.

I think of my ex-wife, who was kind of dumb and kind of smart. Innocent. And kind. And tolerant. Always trying to soothe me. Until our 13-year-old daughter died. I know now that she had a nervous breakdown that day – probably deep depression or complicated grief, in the clinical terms. And she changed after that. I wanted my old wife, but she really couldn’t fulfill my needs any more. And one day she simply ran away, leaving me and our (surviving) kids behind in shock.

Just as the singer has, I still feel longing for her, the one who was kind of dumb and kind of smart, the one who was there before our daughter died. I have regrets, just as he does. That I could have kept things together if I had reacted differently and better when she retreated into herself after our daughter died. The thoughts of the good times before our daughter died - like the good times that he mentions.

And the tree. We planted one down by the river as a memorial to our daughter not long after she died. Within a couple weeks, a record flood washed it away, creating more turmoil. But this mostly makes me think of past failure, and of a love lost as lives abruptly changed.

This is one giant hunk of Velveeta. It belongs on a compilation album with Austin Robert's "Rocky" and. David Geddes's "Run Joey Run."

That album should come with a free "Love Story" DVD.

Got to know this song through Don No Soul Simmons cover. Made me remember my own silly memories. No matter gay or grim, it's those tiny little sparks... Daily life that makes me forget my wounded heart. It doesn't matter when, it may rain or it may shine... Blurry memories of us come back from time to time.

I have the same reaction to the "Top Rated" comment that one responder had: "Wow!" Damn, sir or madam, you took a few truths and then ran to construct a narrative as if you needed a "safe place" for shelter. Look, this song isn't "Diary" by Bread. "Honey" is about a man deeply IN LOVE with a woman whose innocent, guileless being enraptured him. She was NAIVE (kinda' dumb) - which the narrator reinforces by likening her to a child; not in a DEMEANING way at all, but a simple way (by a simple man) of describing this FACET of her personality- but a natural, INTUITIVE, loving soul (kinda smart).

I could go on simply refuting other comments who missed the point (and were misguidedly lauded for their "insights") but the fact is this:

"Honey" suffered from clinical depression. She may have even been bi-polar. The car "accident" may have even been a suicide attempt. The narrator loved Honey, but was in over his head. He didn't understand how the beautiful, endearing love of his life, who had so much love for others and so much to live for, could be suicidally depressed. He was a country boy, unworldly, and not equipped for the challenges Honey's condition presented him, In his simplicity, and, yes, his ignorance, he just assumed these moods would blow over. He always attributed her profound sadness to some trigger like a sad commercial, a sad movie, y'know, that way "womenfolk" can get from the slightest little thing. The guy was oblivious, not evil. And now, after all this time, he still can't wrap his mind around just how badly he missed the signs and lost the love of his life. He's mourning, still grieving, and still can't move on. The tree has become a living symbol of their love, every branch a representation of a mystery he wasn't equipped to handle, and may never unravel. But, people, read what he's saying without malice: He's trying to understand his lack, he's trying so hard that he's not grieving in a healthy way, and he has clearly never found someone to help him cope with this "mystery", one of which -as the lyrical cycle begins again at the end clearly (should) indicates to us- he can't let go, but hasn't the tools to solve. Cuz big simple men don't actively SEEK enlightenment. He knows he'll figure it out, eventually, by himself... ...alone.

It was written in a time when we could not treat depression, he is talking about his wife and their life together and she took her life..and he is not getting over it. I do not see him as particularly abusive, more someone who did not know what to do with the depression and neither did doctors back than.

I kind of see it as a song about his daughter growing up? I get emotional because I think of having to leave my dad. "Now my life's an empty stage/Where honey lived/and honey played/And love grew up." The lyrics never explicitly say she was his lover. It's such a bittersweet song to me. Kind of my version of Cats in the Cradle.