This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I never wanted to become someone like him so secure
Content to live each day just like the last
I was sure I knew that
This was not for me
And I wanted so much more
Far beyond what I could see
So I swore that I'd
Never be someone like him
So many years have passed
Since I proclaimed
My independence
My mission
My aim
And my vision
So secure
Content to live each day like it's my last
It's wonderful to know
That I could be
Something more than what I dreamed
Far beyond what I could see
Still I swear that I'm
Missing out this time
As far as I could tell
There's nothing more I need
But still I ask myself
Could this be everything
Then all I swore
That I would never be was now
So suddenly
The only thing
I wanted
To become
To be someone just like him
A Doctor sitting next to me
He asks me how I feel
Not sure I understand his questioning
He says I've been away a while
But thinks he has cured me
From a state of catatonic sleep
For thirty years
Where have I been
Eyes open
But not getting through to me
Medicate me
Infiltrate me
Side effects appear
As my conscience slips away
Medicate me
Science failing
Conscience fading fast
Can't you stop what's happening
A higher dosage he prescribes
But there's no guarantee
I feel it starting to take over me
I tell him not to be ashamed
There's no one who's to blame
A second shot
A brief awakening
I feel the relapse
Can't break free
Eyes open
But not getting through to me
Medicate me
Infiltrate me
Side effects appear
As my conscience slips away
Medicate me
Science failing
Conscience fading fast
Can't you stop what's happening
Sailing on the seven seize the day tripper diem's ready
Jack the ripper Owens Wilson Phillips and my supper's ready
Lucy in the sky with diamond Dave's not here I come to save the
Day for nightmare cinema show me the way to get back home again
Running forward
Falling back
Spinning round and round
Looking outward
Reaching in
Scream without a sound
Leaning over
Crawling up
Stumbling all around
Losing my place
Only to find I've come full circle
Flying off the handle be careful with
That axe Eugene gene the dance machine
Messiah light my fire gabba gabba
Hey hey my my generation's home again
Running forward
Falling back
Spinning round and round
Looking outward
Reaching in
Scream without a sound
Leaning over
Crawling up
Stumbling all around
Losing my place
Only to find I've come full circle
Our deadly sins feel his mortal wrath
Remove all obstacles from our path
Asking questions
Search for clues
The answer's been right in front of you
Try to break through
Long to connect
Fall on deaf ears and failed muted breath
Loyalty, trust, faith and desire
Carries love through each darkest fire
Tortured Insanity
A smothering hell
Try to escape but no avail
The calls of admirers
Who claim they adore
Drain all your lifeblood while begging for more
Innocent victims of merciless crimes
Fall prey to some madmen's impulsive designs
Step after step
We try controlling our fate
When we finally start living it has become too late
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
We move in circles
Balanced all the while
On a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere
Colliding with our fate
This story ends where it began
Content to live each day just like the last
I was sure I knew that
This was not for me
And I wanted so much more
Far beyond what I could see
So I swore that I'd
Never be someone like him
So many years have passed
Since I proclaimed
My independence
My mission
My aim
And my vision
So secure
Content to live each day like it's my last
It's wonderful to know
That I could be
Something more than what I dreamed
Far beyond what I could see
Still I swear that I'm
Missing out this time
As far as I could tell
There's nothing more I need
But still I ask myself
Could this be everything
Then all I swore
That I would never be was now
So suddenly
The only thing
I wanted
To become
To be someone just like him
A Doctor sitting next to me
He asks me how I feel
Not sure I understand his questioning
He says I've been away a while
But thinks he has cured me
From a state of catatonic sleep
For thirty years
Where have I been
Eyes open
But not getting through to me
Medicate me
Infiltrate me
Side effects appear
As my conscience slips away
Medicate me
Science failing
Conscience fading fast
Can't you stop what's happening
A higher dosage he prescribes
But there's no guarantee
I feel it starting to take over me
I tell him not to be ashamed
There's no one who's to blame
A second shot
A brief awakening
I feel the relapse
Can't break free
Eyes open
But not getting through to me
Medicate me
Infiltrate me
Side effects appear
As my conscience slips away
Medicate me
Science failing
Conscience fading fast
Can't you stop what's happening
Sailing on the seven seize the day tripper diem's ready
Jack the ripper Owens Wilson Phillips and my supper's ready
Lucy in the sky with diamond Dave's not here I come to save the
Day for nightmare cinema show me the way to get back home again
Running forward
Falling back
Spinning round and round
Looking outward
Reaching in
Scream without a sound
Leaning over
Crawling up
Stumbling all around
Losing my place
Only to find I've come full circle
Flying off the handle be careful with
That axe Eugene gene the dance machine
Messiah light my fire gabba gabba
Hey hey my my generation's home again
Running forward
Falling back
Spinning round and round
Looking outward
Reaching in
Scream without a sound
Leaning over
Crawling up
Stumbling all around
Losing my place
Only to find I've come full circle
Our deadly sins feel his mortal wrath
Remove all obstacles from our path
Asking questions
Search for clues
The answer's been right in front of you
Try to break through
Long to connect
Fall on deaf ears and failed muted breath
Loyalty, trust, faith and desire
Carries love through each darkest fire
Tortured Insanity
A smothering hell
Try to escape but no avail
The calls of admirers
Who claim they adore
Drain all your lifeblood while begging for more
Innocent victims of merciless crimes
Fall prey to some madmen's impulsive designs
Step after step
We try controlling our fate
When we finally start living it has become too late
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
We move in circles
Balanced all the while
On a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere
Colliding with our fate
This story ends where it began
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Amazing
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Hey, anyone hear the "Jingle Bells" tune at 17:45? I started cracking up when I heard it.
Regardless, this song is amazing. I've listened to this several times, and every time I find something new.