This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
His father was a drinker and his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's t-shirts when the swing set hit his head
The neighbors, they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things, rotting fast, in their sleep
Oh the dead
Twenty-seven people
Even more, they were boys, with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God
Ooh, are you one of them?
He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a slight of his hand, running far, running fast to the dead
He took off all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips, quiet hands, quiet kiss on the mouth
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floor boards
For the secrets I have hid
Folding John Wayne's t-shirts when the swing set hit his head
The neighbors, they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things, rotting fast, in their sleep
Oh the dead
Twenty-seven people
Even more, they were boys, with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God
Ooh, are you one of them?
He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a slight of his hand, running far, running fast to the dead
He took off all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips, quiet hands, quiet kiss on the mouth
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floor boards
For the secrets I have hid
Lyrics submitted by attractivecousin
John Wayne Gacy, Jr. Lyrics as written by Sufjan Stevens
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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This song seemingly tackles the methods of deception those who manipulate others use to get victims to follow their demands, as well as diverting attention away from important issues. They'll also use it as a means to convince people to hate or kill others by pretending acts of terrorism were committed by the enemy when the acts themselves were done by the masters of control to promote discrimination and hate. It also reinforces the idea that these manipulative forces operate in various locations, infiltrating everyday life without detection, and propagate any and everywhere.
In general, it highlights the danger of hidden agendas, manipulation, and distraction, serving as a critique of those who exploit chaos and confusion to control and gain power, depicting a cautionary tale against falling into their traps. It encourages us to question the narratives presented to us and remain vigilant against manipulation in various parts of society.
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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Aw come on, it's not very often that we uptight ole' Christians get a Christian artist who actually tops the indie charts and has become a favorite of music critics and music blogs all around. What a hero! But really, why is it so annoying that Christians view a Christian songwriter's lyrics from a Christian point of view? You could hardly expect anything else. It's just another meaning to look at, and it's probably the most elucidating at times, isn't that what we're discussing and trying to figure out by posting on this website? Sorry that it may seem like Christian listeners are "claiming" Sufjan, but my guess is that if he were a devout follower of any other religion, like Islam for example, there would be far less fuss and resistance raised in response to Muslim interpretations and whatnot.
"I doubt that god enters into everything stevens does -sure his religion is an influence but I think it would be a mistake to say that his beliefs influence his songs any more than say, the town where he grew up or his childhood." Personally, I must disagree with the first part of this statement. From examining his lyrics, I find it clear that Sufjan is a strong believer, and as with true religion, your faith causes you to strive to bring glory to God (or whatever ultimate deity) in all aspects of your life. And to me, this song had the most blatant Christian reference on the album.
pstans, going along with the "sinner" interpretation, then it must follow that Sufjan, in talking about his "best behavior," means that his very best isn't good enough to put him above the sinful state of the human race, of which Gacy is a part.