Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
Don´t care what they have to say
Why you listening to them anyway?
Why do you have to give them what they want?
They love to watch you as you fall apart
Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There´s nothing grander than the big surprise
They can´t hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes
Seek to destroy cause they´re scared of you
That´s why they try to make a fool of you
They´re so jealous of my pretty star
Cause you´ve got soul inside your shattered heart
Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There´s nothing grander than the big surprise
They can´t hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes
And you´ve been waiting all your life
To fly high into somebody else
And it´s true it´s a cruel, cruel world
Life´s a bitch and then you die my love
Don´t care what they have to say
You shouldn´t listen to them anyway?
Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There´s nothing grander than the big surprise
They can´t hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes
People kill to build you up
Then they´ll stab you in the back like that
You know it breaks my heart
Can´t see you going out like that
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
Why you listening to them anyway?
Why do you have to give them what they want?
They love to watch you as you fall apart
Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There´s nothing grander than the big surprise
They can´t hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes
Seek to destroy cause they´re scared of you
That´s why they try to make a fool of you
They´re so jealous of my pretty star
Cause you´ve got soul inside your shattered heart
Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There´s nothing grander than the big surprise
They can´t hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes
And you´ve been waiting all your life
To fly high into somebody else
And it´s true it´s a cruel, cruel world
Life´s a bitch and then you die my love
Don´t care what they have to say
You shouldn´t listen to them anyway?
Stick it to them like a phoenix rise
There´s nothing grander than the big surprise
They can´t hurt you with their sticks and stones
About time take them right between the eyes
People kill to build you up
Then they´ll stab you in the back like that
You know it breaks my heart
Can´t see you going out like that
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
Stay alive my love
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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I'm loving this song!