New Nails

The title says it all. If Christ appeared today, he'd be crucified all over again...but we could expect a cleaner, more modern method of killing...no nails required. As for precisely what sorts of people would be so offended by his blasphemy--Son of God, indeed!--I'll refrain from naming names.

I doubt the song is a critique of Catholicism specifically; it's an accident of history which faction transformed the faith of a persecuted minority into a power structure to rival that of the Pharoah. In more-recent history, many Protestants have hated "papists" as much as Jews...maybe more so, for perversely believing in the same savior but in the "wrong" way. Another irony: in many parts of the "Christian nation" of America you risk physical assault if you dare mention the obvious fact Jesus Christ was Jewish.

The barely-audible line "Dionysus has cloven hooves" is brimming with allusive meaning. In Leviticus, the endless, dull recitation of Mosaic Law includes endless ruminations on which animals are OK to eat and which are "unclean," cloven hooves being one of many variables to be considered in combination. ("Ruminants"...perhaps I could have chosen another word?)

Let's not forget Dionysus was part human & part divine; he dies and is resurrected. Attributes he shares with Mithras, Osiris and other mythological figures whose stories preceded, yet closely parallel the life of Christ (in some cases, with as much detail as a 40-day retreat to the wilderness followed by a triumphant return to the city riding on a donkey).

How do Christians respond to the obvious fact that the life of Christ is at least partly a work of plagiarism? Well, obviously Lucifer foresaw the birth of Christ and was terribly frustrated by the thought of humanity's impending salvation. Therefore his careful, sneaky plan was to spread rumors: which would become legends of those pagan gods with precisely these striking similarities. The result? Potential converts to Christianity would be (mis)led to doubt the Gospel.

I know, I know...it sounds like a joke I made up on the spot. But it's true. "Diabolical prophecy" is the official explanation.

This song is obviously a condemnation of the Catholic church, and a hilariously brutal one at that. The interesting thing about it to me, though, is that it seems to convey a respect for Christianity before institutionalization; Roger Miller seems to almost be channeling the frustration of Christ.

For me this song seems inspired by Philip K Dick's novel VALIS, which contains long passages of the main character Horselover Fat's self-written gnostic-inspired philosophy after he either goes mad/overdoses/is visited by God/all three. A key phrase in the book is 'The Empire Never Ended', referenced in this song by 'The Roman empire never died'. Also present in the book is the theme of Christianity being twisted from its original liberatory meaning into a tool of oppression, and references to Dionysus.