It Hasn't Happened Yet

I was crossing the snowfields in front of the capital building.
It was Christmas and I was alone.
Strange city, strangers for friends, and I was broke.
As the Carolyn sang it's song, I dreamt of success. I would be the best, I'd make my folks proud, I would be happy.
It hasn't happened yet.
It hasn't happened yet.
It hasn't happened...
Yes, there are nods in my direction. A clap of hands, a knowing smile.
But still...
I'm scared again.
Foot slipped. Pebbles fall and so did I... almost.
On Yosemite, a big gray wall.
Fear of falling.
Where do I put my foot next?
Fear of failure.
I'm afraid I'm going to fall.
Be at one with the mountain.
I whispered to the air..,
Fear of falling, fear of failure. Failure.
Fear of losing my hair. Balding.
When is the mountain scaled?
When do I feel I haven't failed?
I've got to get it together, man.
It hasn't happened yet.
It hasn't happened yet.
It hasn't happened...
People come up and say hello. Ok. I can get to the front of the line, but you have to ignore the looks... and... yet... I'm waiting for that feeling of contempt.
That ease of night when you put your head down and the rhythym slow to sleep.
My head sways and eyes start awake. I'm there not half way between life and death, but looking in to it, eyes wide open... trying to remember what I might've done... should've done.
At my age I need serenity. I need peace.
It hasn't happened yet.
It hasn't happened yet.
It hasn't happened yet.
It hasn't happened...