The Contortionist

as I begin
to sink into this fate that I
have tried so hard to tread
while you sit with your magazines
your cigarettes
your apathy
as we continue downward
into lukewarm discontent
descending side by side
as retrospect and time
devour our thoughts
and our long nights
with such civilized
but brutal taste in
suffering and self disgrace
your disappointment paints your eyes a darker shade of brown
and your poor excuses reek of such expensive wine
while my replies of cowardice
get molded into forgiveness for
everything you said
and everything you did
i have failed to forgive you for either
i tried but i failed to forgive any aspects of either
fairweathered friend
how could these eyes ever forget
those lustfull nights
seeing your lips pressed against theirs
as i tried to forget
i tried but failed
as i begin to sink into this fate
that i have tried so hard to tread
because apparently i'm much too dense
your much too tired and oh so stressed
ignoring all these words that i am struggling to say
so put down your pill bottles
put down your glass of wine
put down all of your magazines
and look me in the eye
and tell me that your happy
tell me this is what you wanted from me
because it's everything i have
and everything i can afford
such curteous envy
i tried but i failed to forgive any aspects of either
fairweathered friend
how could these eyes ever forget
those lustfull nights
seeing your lips pressed against theirs
as i tried to forget
i tried but failed
she never said she wants it all
i bet she does
i bet she does