So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I was choking on a cornflake
You said "Have some toast instead"
I was sleeping maybe three hours
You said "You should get to bed"
I was waiting at the church door
For the minister to show
I was looking at the new year
You said "Walk before you crawl"
I was feeling like a loser
You said "Hey, you've still got me"
I was feeling pretty lonely
You said "You wanted to be free"
I was looking for a good time
You said "Let the good times start"
With a quiver of your eyelid
You took on someone else's part
Maybe I'm a little greedy
You said "Think before you speak"
Sometimes I'm a little seedy
You said "Everyone is weak"
Now I feel a little better
Is there something I can do?
But I never heard the answer
I never had a clue
But what about me
I don't really see
How things will improve
If all you want is to stay loose
There's a little echo calling
Like a miner trapped inside
If I tell her of this moment
She will in me doubts confide
And she's on me like a blanket
Like a stalk of wilting grass
I'm not sure about her motives
I'm not sure about her past
But my faith is like a bullet
My belief is like a bolt
The only thing that lets me sleep at night
A little carriage of the soul
If it starts a little bleaker
Then the year may yet be gold
Happiness is not for keeping
Happiness is not my goal
But what about me
I don't really see
How things will improve
If all you want is to stay loose
But what about them
You play mother hen
To a gaggle of gangling youth
All you want is to stay loose
I was living through the seconds
My composure was a mess
I was miles from tenderness
It was dark outside, the day it was lying in pieces
Everything is flat and dreary
I couldn't care what's in the news
Television is the blues
Television is hysterical laughter of people
And I know it could be me
I'm always asking for more
I keep running around in circles
I keep looking for a doorway
I'm going to need two lives
To follow the paths I've been taking
You said "Have some toast instead"
I was sleeping maybe three hours
You said "You should get to bed"
I was waiting at the church door
For the minister to show
I was looking at the new year
You said "Walk before you crawl"
I was feeling like a loser
You said "Hey, you've still got me"
I was feeling pretty lonely
You said "You wanted to be free"
I was looking for a good time
You said "Let the good times start"
With a quiver of your eyelid
You took on someone else's part
Maybe I'm a little greedy
You said "Think before you speak"
Sometimes I'm a little seedy
You said "Everyone is weak"
Now I feel a little better
Is there something I can do?
But I never heard the answer
I never had a clue
But what about me
I don't really see
How things will improve
If all you want is to stay loose
There's a little echo calling
Like a miner trapped inside
If I tell her of this moment
She will in me doubts confide
And she's on me like a blanket
Like a stalk of wilting grass
I'm not sure about her motives
I'm not sure about her past
But my faith is like a bullet
My belief is like a bolt
The only thing that lets me sleep at night
A little carriage of the soul
If it starts a little bleaker
Then the year may yet be gold
Happiness is not for keeping
Happiness is not my goal
But what about me
I don't really see
How things will improve
If all you want is to stay loose
But what about them
You play mother hen
To a gaggle of gangling youth
All you want is to stay loose
I was living through the seconds
My composure was a mess
I was miles from tenderness
It was dark outside, the day it was lying in pieces
Everything is flat and dreary
I couldn't care what's in the news
Television is the blues
Television is hysterical laughter of people
And I know it could be me
I'm always asking for more
I keep running around in circles
I keep looking for a doorway
I'm going to need two lives
To follow the paths I've been taking
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I think 'stay loose' refers to the girl's whole demeanour, not just their relationship. When they speak she offers solutions which are blunt and skirt around the problems at hand instead of solving them - e.g. going to bed, not asking what's been keeping him up. The she's content with her humdrum life, which makes her happy (playing Mother Hen, following the news, watching TV) while he's searching for something more.
At first he's OK with this detached relationship, he thinks he can make it work ('my faith is like a bolt') but he grows tired of trying to squeeze more out of it ('asking for more') when she's so apathetic - 'everything is flat and dreary'. He knows that she won't understand his discontent (the 'echo') or his ambitions - 'she will in me doubt confide'. To an extent the 'echo' could be a Greek reference, he feels like he doesn't have a voice in the relationship since she dismisses what he has to say - he just has to echo her and wish they were something more.
I'm not sure I understand the blanket/wilting grass part. I think maybe it means she's there and alright to have around, but not ideal (e.g. a blanket isn't as good as a duvet when you're cold, and wilting grass isn't half as nice and living grass). Or maybe it means she's like a furnishing - you can't interact with her, she's just there and part of the environment. Either way it sounds like she isn't flourishing either, she's wilting - both of them are just being hindered by the relationship.
I love this song. Even the music sounds detached and disjointed, like the couple - acknowledging each other, but not seeing eye to eye.