All That I've Got

I think there is somewhat of a reoccurring theme to "In Love and Death". I think when writing this he was obviously going through a lot and wasn't sure how he felt. While everyone may be right, this song very well could be about his dog, but I think it's a bit deeper than that. It's more specifically about him dealing with the loss. I agree that there is a lot here about self mutilation.

"So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me".

No secret that there are many people out there that cut when they are depressed. Well, deep cuts usually bleed very little and actually tend to hurt less. They will be more sore while healing but the initial sting isn't the same as a small cut that will sting like crazy and bleed a lot more. I'm not talking out of my ass here, these are facts. So even though he cut so deep because he was that upset he got nothing therapeutic from it. Yes, many find pain and even the sight of their blood therapeutic.

"I'll be just fine, pretending I'm not, I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got."

Although he feels very depressed he will be just fine, but he wants someone to notice that he is hurting. He is longing for a deep connection with another person. He says I'm far from lonely, I take that to mean he has a lot of friends and family surrounding him but feeling lonely and miserable is all he feels. All though there are many people that care, he can't feel it. All he can feel is isolated from all of them, because again he lacks the deep connection he desperately needs. It's not so much a cry for pity as much as a desperate need for someone to understand the level of solitude he feels. He sees everyone around him happy and fulfilled, and while he knows that they care, they don't understand him. They don't see the "Sad sorry selfish cry out to the cutter. Cutting trying to picture your black broken heart." Another song obviously, but I feel they are likely written with the same emotions in mind. While it is a sad sorry selfish cry attempt at the connection he seeks with others to make them understand it's still all that he's got.

I won't continue further because I think that pretty much sums up my view on this. I may be wrong, but I kind of doubt here. Bert has most definitely been a cutter and used self mutilation as a coping mechanism, his metaphors relating to far too deep to have never felt it. You can't write about something so intensely without ever having felt it.

Just one last note

"Unharmed I'm losing weight and some body heat"

What he's doing isn't really hurting, it's not life threatening really, but it does effect him physically. He doesn't truly desire to die, but as he pushes harder and harder for that connection he maybe feels lightheaded or something from blood loss. He doesn't intend to die, but he needs the mutilation more and more because he still hasn't found the connection. He's unharmed, but as he gets braver and more comfortable with what he is doing he may harm himself later.

It's about Bert's dead puppy, David Bowie. He got hit by a car during the first week of recording and died...therefore Bert wrote a song about him. A while back Bert said "My best friend got hit by a car and died when we started recording the album...it affected my writing drastically" He meant his puppy....RIP David Bowie.

Ahhh this is one I read from Blender that its about his dog... thanks for the info You'll_be_a_memory.

My interpretation of this song is about how a supposed loved one (whether person or dog or cat) has left or passed away.

But now that I've read the chorus a few times, it looks pretty deep to me. You never know whether he is really lonely or not. Whether he really misses that person (or dog) or not.

I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got

He says he'll be fine pretending that he's not fine. As if it really doesn't hurt him that much. Yet, it looks like he might be in denial because he says another contradicting statement when he says he's far from lonely, even though that's all that he has (implying that he's all alone).

great tune.

I saw the used last saturday and before they played this song bert said something along the lines of, im sure you have all felt lonely at one point and time in your life feeling completely alone and this song is having that feeling and trying to make yourself feel better even though you feel horrible

I love the tune to thissong. Every line seems to flow so smoothly to the next. I love how the song starts off as well. This song in my opinion obviusly is about being lonesome. Everyone has been there before. Great song

its a sad song. period.

in the lyric book it says i squoze so hard i stopped your heart from beating..but..is squoze even a word? buut..lmao..eyes closed so hard...Doesn't really make any sense to me? I dunno...I'm not very smart so. yeah.

if he stopped the puppy's heart from beating does that mean he was there like if they had to put it to sleep? i dno how that works so... i dunno

i must say i enjoy the old stuff so so so so so so much more, the old used is my favorite band. The next cd will be better i think....they need to leave John feldman....he always produces poppy stuff

i still feel bad for Bert though, him and David.....sad song...but not as sad as "on my own"