Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
I had one friend in high school,
Recently he hung himself with string.
His note said, 'If living is the problem,
Well, that's just baffling.'
And at the wake I waited around
To see my ex first love,
And I barely recognized her,
But I knew exactly what she was thinking of.
We sat quietly in the corner,
Whispering close about loss.
And I remembered why I loved her,
And I asked her why I drove her off.
She said, "The slow fade of love,
Its soft edge might cut you
And our poor friend Jim, well, he just lived within
The slow fade of love."
A woman calls my house once a week,
She's always selling things.
Some charity, a phone plan,
Or subscription to a magazine.
And as I turned her down (I always do),
There was something trembling in her voice.
I said, 'Hey, what troubles you?'
She said, "I'm surprised you noticed.
Well, my husband, he's leaving,
And I can't convince him to stay.
And he'll take our daughter with him,
She wants to go with him anyway.
I'm sorry I'm hard to live with,
Living is the problem for me.
I'm selling people things they don't want,
When I don't know what she needs.
He said, 'The slow fade of love,
And its mist might choke you.
It's my gradual descent into a life I never meant.
It's the slow fade of love."
I was driving south from Melrose.
I happened upon my old lover's old house.
I found myself staring at the closed up door
Like the day she threw me out.
"Diana, Diana. Diana, I would die for you.
I'm in love with you completely,
I'm afraid that's all I can do."
She said, "You can sleep upon my doorstep,
You can promise me indifference, Jim.
But my mind is made up,
And I'll never let you in again.
For the slow fade of love.
It might hit you from below.
It's your gradual descent into a life you never meant.
It's the slow fade of love."
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
Baby, It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
Slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
Recently he hung himself with string.
His note said, 'If living is the problem,
Well, that's just baffling.'
And at the wake I waited around
To see my ex first love,
And I barely recognized her,
But I knew exactly what she was thinking of.
We sat quietly in the corner,
Whispering close about loss.
And I remembered why I loved her,
And I asked her why I drove her off.
She said, "The slow fade of love,
Its soft edge might cut you
And our poor friend Jim, well, he just lived within
The slow fade of love."
A woman calls my house once a week,
She's always selling things.
Some charity, a phone plan,
Or subscription to a magazine.
And as I turned her down (I always do),
There was something trembling in her voice.
I said, 'Hey, what troubles you?'
She said, "I'm surprised you noticed.
Well, my husband, he's leaving,
And I can't convince him to stay.
And he'll take our daughter with him,
She wants to go with him anyway.
I'm sorry I'm hard to live with,
Living is the problem for me.
I'm selling people things they don't want,
When I don't know what she needs.
He said, 'The slow fade of love,
And its mist might choke you.
It's my gradual descent into a life I never meant.
It's the slow fade of love."
I was driving south from Melrose.
I happened upon my old lover's old house.
I found myself staring at the closed up door
Like the day she threw me out.
"Diana, Diana. Diana, I would die for you.
I'm in love with you completely,
I'm afraid that's all I can do."
She said, "You can sleep upon my doorstep,
You can promise me indifference, Jim.
But my mind is made up,
And I'll never let you in again.
For the slow fade of love.
It might hit you from below.
It's your gradual descent into a life you never meant.
It's the slow fade of love."
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
Baby, It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
Slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
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3 points of views - jim is the third point of view who ended up killing himself, "me" is diana, and the man is a guy that was friends with jim in high school. the man and his ex first love are talking about their friend and loss and whatever happened to the love which gets them to talk about the love that vanished between jim and diana. the slow fade of love was what caused jim to kill himself. i don't think the woman that is talking to "me" is diana, i think there are parallels between the two women and that's why they speak in the song.
of course the third verse is before jim dies. he probablykilled himself right after he "happened upon his old lover's old house"
i love this song ! the way it's written is so interesting