Please Take Your Drunken 15 Year Old Girlfriend Home

Please take your girlfriend home
She's only fifteen, she shouldn't be back here alone
I'm horny and my mind begins to roam
So please take your drunken fifteen year-old girlfriend home

She found mama's quaalude 'script
Took a few just right before the show
She is no beer drinker
She used the bathroom fifteen times I know


Her overtures were rather crude
Her boyfriend he was more than rude to me
I'm twenty-eight and I don't date
I still know classy women who like me

Chorus:
So please take your girlfriend home
She's only fifteen, she shouldn't be back here alone
I'm horny and my mouth begins to foam
So please take your 15 year-old girlfriend home

She said our show was rather dull
She liked Jethro Tull more than she liked us
She said a cab cost twenty bucks
I gave her thirty cents to ride the bus

When she hit me with a mic
Something with which I could not agree
When she said she dug the harmonica player
A whole lot more than she dug me

So please take your girlfriend home
She's only 15, she shouldn't be back here alone
Oh, take her to go read the Rolling Stone
And please take your drunken 15 year-old girlfriend home