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If I Had A Gun Lyrics
Would I be amused
Would you be impressed
Knowing that I had the power
To put a hole into your chest?
When the kids are crying
After the welfare check's been spent
Would I rob a licquor store
To get money for the rent?
If I had a gun...If I had a gun
Would I start smoking Marlboros?
Would I stop smoking Kents?
Would I gain some new respect?
Would I gain some confidence?
Would I suddenly go crazy
And shoot my family
And see myself years later
On some crime show on TV
If I had a gun?
Would I wear it in a holster?
Would I keep it concealed?
Would I put it on the table
Everytime that I'm misdealed?
When I hear a nearby gunshot
When I'm up at night alone
Would I feel a little safer
Here in my urban home
If I had a gun?
Would you be impressed
Knowing that I had the power
To put a hole into your chest?
When the kids are crying
After the welfare check's been spent
Would I rob a licquor store
To get money for the rent?
Would I stop smoking Kents?
Would I gain some new respect?
Would I gain some confidence?
Would I suddenly go crazy
And shoot my family
And see myself years later
On some crime show on TV
If I had a gun?
Would I keep it concealed?
Would I put it on the table
Everytime that I'm misdealed?
When I hear a nearby gunshot
When I'm up at night alone
Would I feel a little safer
Here in my urban home
If I had a gun?
Song Info
Submitted by
nightkite13 On Apr 28, 2004
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Great anti-gun song with a very funny cover on the single.
It has been over ten years since my original post. This is one of the greatest Dead Milkmen songs. No one else has any thoughts?
@TonyInPortland i made an account to let u know ur not alone in having this be one of ur favorite dead milkmen songs. i love it ???? its very catchy and super ahead of its time i thjnk
@TonyInPortland i made an account to let u know ur not alone in having this be one of ur favorite dead milkmen songs. i love it ???? its very catchy and super ahead of its time i thjnk
I have long enjoyed this song. The irony of it used to feel fun and playful, if in deliberately poor taste (like so much of their work). But it was written before the days of ubiquitous ongoing mass shootings and the current tragic-crazy politics of guns in the USA. For this reason it seems kind of dated today.
Before Columbine, mass shootings were barely on the public radar. The worst abuse of a gun the guys could think of was "would I suddenly go crazy and shoot my family, and see myself years later on some crime show on TV?" Since Sandyhook and all the gun slaughter that has occurred since then, this subject has gotten so raw and real and painful that no one would joke about it in a song any more. No one would laugh if you performed it. And no one would make a crime show about mass shooting events today because it's so damn common that it's not even news any more and we're all so numbed by the senseless horror of it that no one wants to watch a TV crime show about it anyway. And half the nation is trying to make it illegal to even examine the question.
All that being said, this song would make a terrific bluegrass cover. God bless these sassy boys.
[Edit: typo]