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99 Problems Lyrics

If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one

I got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's "money, cash, hoes"
I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with holes in your zapper toes
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin dough
I'm like "fuck critics", you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
they don't play my hits
well I don't give a shit, so!
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers!
I don't know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches, niggaz I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
hit me!

99 problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
hit me!

The year is ninety-four, in my trunk is raw
In my rearview mirror is the motherfuckin law
Got two choices y'all, pull over the car or (hmm)
bounce on the Devil, put the pedal to the floor
And I ain't tryin to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
So I, pull over to the side of the road
"Son, do you know why I'm stoppin you for?"
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
Or do I look like a mindreader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
"Well you was doin fifty-five in the fifty-four;
license and registration and step out of the car -
are you carryin a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are"
I ain't steppin out of shit, all my papers legit
"Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack! You should try out
for lawyer or somethin, somebody important or somethin"
Child I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"Well we'll see how smart you are when the canine comes"
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
hit me!

99 problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
hit me!

99 problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
hit me!

Now once upon a time, not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no Goddamn sense, try an' push me
I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
And only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin and
he and his boys gon' be yappin to the Captain
And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor, scratchin again
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin them
D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again
Half a mill' for bail cause I'm African
All because this fool was harassin them
Tryin to play the boy like he's saccharin
But ain't nuttin sweet bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems B and a bitch ain't one
hit me!

99 problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
hit me!

99 problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one
hit me!

Whoo! Whoo! Uh, uh
Havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one, ha ha!
You crazy for this one, Rick!
It's your boy!
89 Meanings
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he uses the word "bitch" differently in all three verses: in the first verse, music industry in general is the bitch, in the second, the canine is the bitch, and in the third, the guy who tries to screw with him is the bitch.

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I haven't seen any website get this line right:

"If you grew up with holes in your zapper toes "

Should be

"If you grew up with holes in your zapatos"

Zapatos is spanish for shoes. He mispronounced it, but I still think it's a clever rhyme.

i agree. one of my favorite lines in this song, and one i really enjoy. it's a very clever rhyme, like you said.

@Doc_42 yeah, that's correct. I used to think zapatos were some type of pants until I looked it up.

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ppl that have many felonies for drug trafficing, they get a habitual felony. in prison, when you get this, they call it 'the bitch'. if you notice, in the song jay z talks about not getting caught, esp in teh 2nd verse. hes got 99 problems, but 'the bitch' isnt one of them, cause he aint gonna get caught :D

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sup? i Think alot of you rock heads got to listen to this song again. caz i dont know but i would rather have so girl problems compared to racism on my back every day. caz i can not even think what that would be like. hint hint he is down playing the girl problims

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this song is like Jay-Z was writing the lyrics to my life.

cos' like so many days go by in my life where i think to myself "i do have 99 probems, but a bitch ain't one".

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I've done a lot of research on illuminati, and it's obvious Jay Z is part of it too. what a big waste!

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where did u get all that stuff about the significant other?

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yeah, this is the best from the black

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unrelated to the lyrics, but if you pick up the may issue of SPIN magazine, it has this hilarious article about jay-z's 99 problems.

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Gonna be big.

Adios Jay.

Great video, stirrin' up the controversy.

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