Chris Rock Was My RA

Well my freshman year had an awesome RA. I had the best RA in the world. I wish he was with me all my 4 years. His name is Arnold Baldwin. We had this RA.Arnold Baldwin. He's this big tall skinny black guy. He talked exactly like Chris Rock. We loved him because he didn't give a crap about us. He didn't care. He's like, "I'm your RA! Resident Assistant! Resident Assistant! I'm not the resident
council! I'm not the resident mother! I don't need to know everything! Your
friend's throwing up in the bathroom? I don't need to know! Everybody throws up,
he's lucky he made it to the bathroom! Just give him a tic tac and a pillow
and leave him alone! Leave him alone! I don't need to know! Your suitemate is
smokin' crack? I don't need to know! Just tell him to exhale through a empty
toilet paper roll stuffed with dryer sheets! Make it smell like the mountain
spring freshness of crack! I don't need to know! I don't need to know if you got a
40 oz beer bong keg playin' ping pong flip cup century club got zoomy zoomy goin' on, I dont need to know 'cause I don't care! Your girlfriend broke up with you, I don't care! Your roommate is a pain in the ass, I don't care! You made a booty call at four in the mornin' and she got a friend, I care! Remember me!"