where did my father find this photograph? where is the spite, the narrowed eyes? she was so beautiful in black and white. anywhere else, would i recognize that smile (is it like mine)? was this before she died from making the best of it? prehistory in tacked-up polaroid. proof of a life nothing survived. anger like amber, where they're fossilized. maybe i like the way it dulls the light. anaesthetized. were we ever alive? it's so cold inside the surgeon's house tonight.
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