This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Yo we gotta start respecting life more y'all
You look at your brother man you gotta see yourself
Gotta see the God within him
Brothers getting changed real quick over nothing
We losing too many of ours
Gotta recreate y'all
Yo check it
Knowing you the best part of life do I have the right to take yours
'Cause I created you irresponsibly
Subconsciously knowing the act I was a part of
The start of something, I'm not ready to bring into the world
Had myself believing I was sterile
I look into mother's stomach, wonder if you are a boy or a girl
Turning this woman's womb into a tomb
But she and I agree, a seed we don't need
You would've been much more than a mouth to feed
But someone, I would of fed this information I read
To someone, my life for you I would of had to leave
Instead I lead you to death
I'm sorry for taking your first breath, first step, and first cry
But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially
Having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me
Plus I wanted you to be raised within a family
I don't want to, go through the drama of having a baby's momma
Weekend visits and buying J's ain't gon' make me a father
For a while bearing a child is something I never wanted to do
For me to live forever I can only do that through you
Nerve I got to talk about them niggas with a gun
Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son
I could have sacrificed going out
To think my homies who did it I used to joke about, from now on
I'ma use self control instead of birth control
'Cause $315 ain't worth your soul
$315 ain't worth your soul
$315 ain't worth it
I, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
Yo
Why didn't you stay
Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself
You had our child in you, I probably never feel what you felt
But you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are
Through our trials and tribulations, child's elimination
An integration of thoughts I feel about the situation
Back and forth my feelings was pacing
Happy deep down but not joyed enough to have it
But even that's a lie in less than two weeks, we was back at it
Is this unprotected love or safe to say it's lust
Busting, more than the sweat in somebody you trust
Or is it that we don't trust each other enough
And believe, having this child'll make us have to stay together
Don't I want you in my life cause you have made it better
Thinking we all in love 'cause we can spend a day together
We talking spending the rest of our lives
It's too many black women that can say they mothers
But can't say that they wives
I wouldn't chose any other to mother my understanding
But I want our Parenthood to come from Planning
It's so much in my life that's undone
We gotta see eye to eye, about family, before we can become one
If you had decided to have it the situation I wouldn't run from
But I'm walking, finding myself in my God
So I can, discipline my son with my writing
Not have a judge telling me how and when to raise my seed
Though his death was at our greed, with no one else to blame
I had a book of African names, case our minds changed
You say your period hasn't came, and lately I've been sleepy
So quit smoking the weed and the beadies and let's have this boy
I, never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
You said you would be here when it rained
Oh I, never dreamed you'd leave in summer
Now the situation's made things change
Things change
Why, didn't you stay
Why didn't you stay
I, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer
In summer
You said you would be here when, it rained
When it rained, it rained
Oh I, never dreamed, you'd leave in summer
You said you wouldn't leave
Now the situation's made things change
Things change, why didn't you stay?
Stay, stay stay stay stay stay stay
Stay
Oh why didn't you stay
You look at your brother man you gotta see yourself
Gotta see the God within him
Brothers getting changed real quick over nothing
We losing too many of ours
Gotta recreate y'all
Yo check it
Knowing you the best part of life do I have the right to take yours
'Cause I created you irresponsibly
Subconsciously knowing the act I was a part of
The start of something, I'm not ready to bring into the world
Had myself believing I was sterile
I look into mother's stomach, wonder if you are a boy or a girl
Turning this woman's womb into a tomb
But she and I agree, a seed we don't need
You would've been much more than a mouth to feed
But someone, I would of fed this information I read
To someone, my life for you I would of had to leave
Instead I lead you to death
I'm sorry for taking your first breath, first step, and first cry
But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially
Having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me
Plus I wanted you to be raised within a family
I don't want to, go through the drama of having a baby's momma
Weekend visits and buying J's ain't gon' make me a father
For a while bearing a child is something I never wanted to do
For me to live forever I can only do that through you
Nerve I got to talk about them niggas with a gun
Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son
I could have sacrificed going out
To think my homies who did it I used to joke about, from now on
I'ma use self control instead of birth control
'Cause $315 ain't worth your soul
$315 ain't worth your soul
$315 ain't worth it
I, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
Yo
Why didn't you stay
Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself
You had our child in you, I probably never feel what you felt
But you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are
Through our trials and tribulations, child's elimination
An integration of thoughts I feel about the situation
Back and forth my feelings was pacing
Happy deep down but not joyed enough to have it
But even that's a lie in less than two weeks, we was back at it
Is this unprotected love or safe to say it's lust
Busting, more than the sweat in somebody you trust
Or is it that we don't trust each other enough
And believe, having this child'll make us have to stay together
Don't I want you in my life cause you have made it better
Thinking we all in love 'cause we can spend a day together
We talking spending the rest of our lives
It's too many black women that can say they mothers
But can't say that they wives
I wouldn't chose any other to mother my understanding
But I want our Parenthood to come from Planning
It's so much in my life that's undone
We gotta see eye to eye, about family, before we can become one
If you had decided to have it the situation I wouldn't run from
But I'm walking, finding myself in my God
So I can, discipline my son with my writing
Not have a judge telling me how and when to raise my seed
Though his death was at our greed, with no one else to blame
I had a book of African names, case our minds changed
You say your period hasn't came, and lately I've been sleepy
So quit smoking the weed and the beadies and let's have this boy
I, never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
You said you would be here when it rained
Oh I, never dreamed you'd leave in summer
Now the situation's made things change
Things change
Why, didn't you stay
Why didn't you stay
I, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer
In summer
You said you would be here when, it rained
When it rained, it rained
Oh I, never dreamed, you'd leave in summer
You said you wouldn't leave
Now the situation's made things change
Things change, why didn't you stay?
Stay, stay stay stay stay stay stay
Stay
Oh why didn't you stay
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Very good song about deciding and all that comes with such a situation . best of both worlds here with Lauryn Hill and common . i truely enjoy commons work .