Retrospect For Life

featuring Lauryn Hill
Yo, we gotta start respecting life more ya'll
You look at your brother, man, you gotta see yourself
Gotta see the god within him
Brothers getting changed real quick over nothing
We losing too many of ours
Gotta recreate ya'll
Yo check it
Knowing you the best part of life do I have the right to take yours
Cause I created you irresponsibly
Subconsiously knowing the act I was a part of
The start of something, I'm not ready to bring into the world
Had myself believing I was sterile
Look into your mother's stomach wonder if you a boy or girl
Turning this woman's womb into a tomb
But she and I agree-- a seed we don't need
You would've been much more than a mouth to feed
But someone, I would've fed this information I read,
To someone, my life for you I would've had to leave
Instead I lead you to death
I'm sorry for taking your first breath, first step and first cry
But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially
Having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me
Plus I wanted you to be raised within a family
I don't wanna go through the drama of having a baby's momma
Weekend visits and buying J's ain't gonna make me a father
For a while bearing a child was something I never wanted to do
For me to live forever I can only do that through you
Nerve I got to talk about them niggaz with a gun
Must've really thought I was god to take the life of my son
I could've sacrificed going out
To think, my homies who did it I used to joke about
From now on,
I'ma use self-control instead of birth control
Cause 315 dollars ain't worth your soul
315 dollars ain't worth your soul
315 dollars ain't worth it
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
Why didn't you stay?
Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself
You had our child in you, I'll probably never feel what you felt
But you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are
Through our trials and tribulations, child's elimination
An integration of throughts I feel about the situation
Back and forth my feelings was pacing
Happy deep down but not joyed enough to have it
But even that's a lie, in less than two weeks we was going back at it
Is this unprotected love or safe to say it's lust
Busting, more than the sweat in somebody you trust
Or is it we don't trust eachother enough
And believe having this child'll make us have to stay together
Girl, I want you in my life cus you have made it better
Thinking we all in love cus we can spend a day together
We talking spending the rest of our lives
It's too many black woman can say they mothers, but can't say that they wives
I wouldn't choose any other to mother my understanding
But I want our parenthood to come from planning
It's so much in life that's undone
We gotta see eye to eye about family before we can become one
If you had decided to have it the situation I wouldn't run from
But I'm walking, finding myself and my god
So I can discipline my son with my writing
Not have a judge telling me how and when to raise my seed
Though his death was at our greed,
No one else to blame,
I had a book of African names in case our mines changed
You say your period hasn't came, and lately I've been sleepy
So let's quit smoking the weed and the bidis and let's have this boy
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
Ohh I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
Now the situation's made things change
Why didn't you stay
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
Ohh I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
Now the situation's made things change
Why didn't you stay?
Stay, stay stay stay stay stay stay
Mmmmm, stayyy
Uh-uh
Ohh why didn't you stay..