If I was your tv I'd be like "Look at me"
If I was a shooting star I'd be like "Peace!"
If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like "Hell naw!'
If I was a hotties thong I'd be like "Aw..."
If I was a cuss word I'd just be like "fuck"
If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like "Sup?"
If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit
If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like "man this is bullshit"
If I was the tires on your car I'd be like "NEEEAAAWWW"
If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like "Aww fuck"
If I was a balloon I'd be like "pap"
If I was Allysa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce
If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say "the point 103"
If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like "umm...ok"
If I was Spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like "fuck us! And
I won't read this, even us motherfucker!"
If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up
If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like "THONNNKK!!"
If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like "Man why do
you try to bite me every time we try to eat?"
If I was a chair I'd be like "Sit here"
If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair
If I was your muffler I'd be like "Shhh, quietly"
If I was a price tag I'd be like "You ain't buying me"
If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like [records scratch]
If I was Jam Master J I'd be like [records scratch]
If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static]
"Tune that motherfucker in"
If I was Barry White I'd be like "What up y'all?"
If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like "Boing"
If I was your dead uncle I'd be like "....."
If I was a raindrop I'd just be like "drip"
And If I had an ax to your neck I might say "CHOP!"

If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but you're killing me
If I was, if I was. but you're killing me

If I was a Faygo at one of our shows, I'd fly through the air into and
ocean of juggalos
If I was Andre The Giant "This is how I'd be talking"
If I was Father MC I'd be like "Now what happened?"
If I was a mirror, I'd find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
If I was a slider I'd slide out your butt
I'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like "What?"
If I was a pilot I'd be like "This is air traffic control"
If I was John Denver I'd be like "Nooooooo!!!!"
If I was a switch I'd be like "Flick me, yoo-hoo"
If I was a London cop car I'd be like "Wee-oop wee-oop"
If I was Chewbacca I'd get a fresh ass fade
If I was Vanilla Ice I'd be like "Fuck y'all. I'm still paid"
If I was a stop sign I'd just be like "Stop"
If I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip-hop

If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but you're killing me
If I was, if I was. but you're killing me

Lyrics submitted by nikuku

If Lyrics as written by Mark Reeder Bristol Michael Adam

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

If song meanings
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  • 0
    General Comment

    This song is really cool, because it makes me think on..."What if...". After I listened to this song, I sat down for like 2 hours just thinking on "What if..." stuff, you'd be surprised on how much you can learn!

    Twiztid-Juggaletteon April 18, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    whatever you weird ass

    soloinsecton June 05, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    I thought it was cool, but you must have been stoned to sit around for two hours thinking of "what if..."

    kmk_natashaon December 26, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    lmao. that's pretty awesome. ^_~

    lz2108on December 26, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment


    shnazzysqueakeron December 26, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    yeah i'm with Twiztid-Juggalette...it does kinda make u think alil bit. and i think its like...well..um..hes kinda saying hes not good enough for someone or something.

    CassieInTXon December 26, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    insane clown posse. what were they thinking. they have their funny moments, like the stuff they say in between, other than that...what were they thinking?

    peacelisaon December 27, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    The only thing this song makes me think is "what if.. ICP never existed?"

    mammothpress.comon December 27, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    If ICP never existed, we wouldn't know about them, so we'd just find some other band to listen to/hate on.

    This song is pretty good, although My Axe, Radio Stars, and Mr. Happy are better songs coming from this CD (Bizzar).

    Cham Zordon December 28, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    If ICP decided to take cheap shots at you in a crappy song, would you care?

    I know i wouldn't

    Boo Urnson February 02, 2005   Link

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