Never Had It Made

No! No!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
"Next."
"Uh, yes Mr. Gatekeeper, now we have, uh, Joeseph Bruce, also known as Violent J."
"Oh yes, I've heard of that hideous fuck. Tell me, what makes you think I'd EVER allow you into these pearly gates?"
"Wait man, lemme explain dawg!"
First I was born young and healthy
I told my mother one day I'd be wealthy
Can't forget my first day at school
Got stabbed in the head with a pencil, but it's cool
Get my education
A job and a family, a good reputation
And what about grade two?
Got shot in the neck and the bullet went straight through
But I'm packin' a textbook
Don't fuck with me
Cuz I'm going to grade three
Thank God it's lunch in a minute
Bit into my hot dog with a razorblade in it
And it cut my tongue off
But I know how to multiply so what's up, boss
Finally had to step out
I dropped out of school when they ripped my neck out
Who knows where the road led?
Seen a man with a briefcase and no head
So I'm like fuck that
Show me a quarter and an ounce of crack
And I'm straighter than a fucking lightpost
I sold a lot of crack but I bought the most
Now I'm a basehead down on my luck
Roaming the streets and got hit by a Mack truck
And thrown up on a block
But I'm thinking nothing but gimme a rock
Holding my sign "I'll work for crack"
With my old-ass E.T. shirt on my back
And I'm sleeping in the gutter
Right next to Jam Town's mother
I'm eating dead rats in the street
I keep on checking for my own heart beat
Now I'm weighing at a buck-o-five
Twitchy little neck and I'm barely alive
Got my first taste of life in hell
I ate a dead man, shhh, but don't tell
"Excuse me sir, can you spare some change?"
I'll cut your face off and eat your brains
You know all about me
Ya act like ya ain't never seen penitentiary
"We the jury find the defendant guilty of 47 counts of first degree murder."
"Very well. Mr. Bruce, do you have any last words before your sentence?"
"Yeah...your mudda."
"Fine...LIFE IN PRISON MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!"
Spitting and cussing and you know I'm pissed
With these iron braces on my fucking wrists
And I'm heading for the slammer
Serial killa, all on the camera
First day, they broke my back
Next day, they broke my neck
Third day, they broke my leg
Fourth day, they broke my head
Swallow it and kept on trucking
But there'll be no fucking
That's strictly for the soft
Ain't seen a freak in a week and my nuts fell off
So I'm fidna escape
How much shit can one klepto take?
"Stop, fool!! Stop or I'll fire!!"
Shot me off and I fell in the razor wire
I'm all tangled up
Cut-cut-cut
Slit...slit-cut-cut
You don't love me, I really don't care
Tie my ass up in the electric chair
Got no family, I got no friends
I pray to God that my life ends
"Do you have any last words my son?"
"Yes Father, I do."
"SO WHAT!!!"
*zzzzzaaappp!!!*
They thought that they had killed me
They took me to the morgue
I'm just a little stiff that's all...like a board
I lay there in my coffin, just chill and wait and chill
But then I jump out
Knife swinging all about
And motherfucking-mother-mother-mother-motherfucking kill!!
I used to wonder what life's about
Till it chewed me up and spit me out
Your ghetto created a psycho nut
Not just psycho, psycho nut
Now I'm living in the walls of your house
And I'll die there and lay and rot like a dead mouse
I'm packing a sickle
I'm on your roof and I'm playing the fiddle
You want me in a straight jacket
Cuz when I see a throat, I'ma hack it
Where I'm at? What's my name?
Somehow, somewhere, I got hit by a train
And it ripped my legs off
Huh, nothing but a minor cough
You can't get me
I swing from a tree
Shouting and cussing and shooting at me
Everybody's addin' they two cents
My branch broke and I fell on a picket fence
I'm stuck and they coming to get me
Rip myself off and I took my lungs with me
I'm stuffing them back in
Fuck! They won't go back in
Now my life's gettin' dense
Cuz my heart's still beating on a wooden fence
They shoot me up and down
Thinking, thinking, thinking clown
Wicked, wicked, wicked clown
You wanna know about a wicked clown
You wanna know!!
You wanna know!!
You wanna know all about a wicked clown
A wicked clown
A wicked clooooooooown......
You wanna know about a wicked clown...
I never had it made!
I never had it made!
You wanna know...you wanna know I never had it made!
A wicked clown
You wanna know...
You wanna know about a wicked clown...