So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Every time I try so hard I get nothin' (nothin')
They say try and you won't fail I get nothin' (nothin')
I did all that I could I got nothin' (nothin')
I tried so hard for nothin' (nothin')
I never wanted it that way guess there was nothin' I could say
I don't know what I want
But I know I don't want this
I give up I give in I know I'm never gonna win
I know it's really not your fault
I'm gonna blame you anyway
You say you're sorry but I know it won't do no good
I give up, I give in, I know I'm never gonna win.
I don't fuckin' care, I don't fuckin' care
I don't fuckin' care anymore
It's gonna be all right
Cause I don't fuckin' care anymore.
They say try and you won't fail I get nothin' (nothin')
I did all that I could I got nothin' (nothin')
I tried so hard for nothin' (nothin')
I never wanted it that way guess there was nothin' I could say
I don't know what I want
But I know I don't want this
I give up I give in I know I'm never gonna win
I know it's really not your fault
I'm gonna blame you anyway
You say you're sorry but I know it won't do no good
I give up, I give in, I know I'm never gonna win.
I don't fuckin' care, I don't fuckin' care
I don't fuckin' care anymore
It's gonna be all right
Cause I don't fuckin' care anymore.
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This is the perfect embodiment of all the frustration and humility and general shittiness of giving up.