This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
I'm losing ground
You know how this world can beat you down
I'm made of clay
I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way
I'm always falling down the same hill
Bamboo puncturing this skin
And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm
Drowning in
Two feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I stay inside my bed
I have lived so many lives all in my head
Don't tell me that you care
There really isn't anything, is there?
You would know, wouldn't you?
You extend your hand to those who suffer
To those who know what it really feels like
To those who've had a taste
Like that means something
And oh so sick I am
And maybe I don't have a choice
And maybe that is all I have
And maybe this is a cry for help
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
You know how this world can beat you down
I'm made of clay
I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way
I'm always falling down the same hill
Bamboo puncturing this skin
And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm
Drowning in
Two feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I stay inside my bed
I have lived so many lives all in my head
Don't tell me that you care
There really isn't anything, is there?
You would know, wouldn't you?
You extend your hand to those who suffer
To those who know what it really feels like
To those who've had a taste
Like that means something
And oh so sick I am
And maybe I don't have a choice
And maybe that is all I have
And maybe this is a cry for help
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
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"I want to know everything, I want to be everywhere, I want to fuck everyone in the world, I want to do something that matters."
These are the thoughts that circle and chase me all fucking day, the thoughts that suffocate and hound me all damn night. What could I be doing right now? What should I focus on? What's the next thing I should do? How should I do that? Can I do that? I like that person, that person, that person, how can I be the person they would like? Wait, am I even into them? What am I doing with my life? Why do I work here? Should I go to college? When is a good time to do that? What do I want to study? EVERYTHING! NOTHING! EVERYONE! NO ONE!
I don't remember what it was like when my mind was normal and functional, when each thought wasn't the beginning of a motherfucking explosion of insanity. When I could plan or contemplate things without having a full-blown, rocking-back-and-forth meltdown.