"My Own Prison" as written by Mark Tremonti and Scott Stapp....
A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're held captive (I created)
Out from the sun (I created)
A sun that shines on only some (I created)
We the meek are all in one (I created my own prison)
Should've been dead on a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're held captive (I created)
Out from the sun (I created)
A sun that shines on only some (I created)
We the meek are all in one (I created my own prison)
Should've been dead on a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
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A court is in session today, a verdict is in, no appeal on the docket today, just my own sin. Judgment day - On Judgment Day you cannot atone for you sins, it's over, it's done. You can't say I'll do etter, the day of judgment is upon you and you're done.
The walls cold and pale, the cage made of steel, screams fill the room, alone I drop and kneel. When you realize your sins, you repent. Many times you do this alone, your feelings overwhelm you and you may feel trapped, you cry and shout to the Lord and on your knees you cry, asking for forgiveness.
Silence now the sound, my breath the only motion around, demons cluttering around, my face showing no emotion. He's done crying, shouting, asking for remission of his sins, and his demons still haunt him, all he can do is sit still showing no emotion.
Shackeled by my sentence, expecting no return, here there is no penance, my skin begins to burn. A euphemism of Hell, not that hard to figure out.
So I hold my head up high, hiding hate that burns inside, which only fuels selfish pride, we're all held captive out from the sun, a sun that shines on only some, we the meek are all in one. Speaking of Jesus, who is the Light of the World, who only some accept. Only some receive the light, have you not heard the meek shall inherit the earth? They are all in one, because they are all one body of Christ.
I hear a thunder in the distance, see a vision of the cross, I feel the pain that was given, on that sad day of loss. The crucifixion, plain and simple. The day Christ died, the skies were darkened with clouds and thunder was all about them. The pain the LORD Jesus felt when He died is unimaginable, as doctors say crucifixion is the worst form of torture and death the world has ever known. This was a sad day of loss.
A lion roars in the distace, only he holds the key, a light to free me from my burden and gratn me life eternally - Jesus has been prtorayed as the Lion and the Lamb. Here he is talking about how the lion (the LORD Jesus) is the only one that can give him eternal life, forgive him for all his sins (free him from his burden) and give him life eternal.
On a Sunday morning banging my head, not time for mourning, ain't got no time. Of course this probably refers to the fact he OD'd, but he didn't die, he should have been dead but wasn't God didn't let this happen, God let him live so, there is no time now for mourning, get over it, and move on.
I cry out to God seeking only His decison, Gabrile stands and confirms, I've created my own prison. He calls to God, seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven, as Jesus asks, looking only for God's will (seeking his decision) and not that of his own will. Gabriel is used a lot as a messenger of God, and was sent to let him know he did create his own hell. Not to say you can't get out of that personal hell here on earth.
no appeal on the docket today
just my own sin"
He then sees Christ's sacrifice...
"i hear a thunder in the distance
see a vision of a cross"
i feel the pain that was given
on that sad day of loss
"i hear a thunder in the distance
see a vision of a cross
i feel the pain that was given
on that sad day of loss "
Only Christ holds the key to his prison and death:
"a lion roars in the darkness only he holds the key"
The lion is Christ. Christ defeated death and only he possesses the key.
"i cry out to god seeking only his decision"
Crying out to God; seeking forgiveness and release.
"gabriel stands and confirms
ive created my own prison"
Gabriel is one of the highest angels, often a messenger of God. He confirms what the speaker most feared... that he has created an inescapable prison. The song ends before the speaker finds his release... perhaps he is still searching.
"so i held my head up high. hiding hate that burns inside that only fuels their selfish pride" talks about how one has to swallow the pain just so the ones who brought this upon him do not feel vindicated.
In the second verse he talks about hope to emerge from all of this - vision of a cross, thunder in the distance, lion roar in the darkness - they are all metaphors of hope in dark times. Eventually, in the last verse, he submits himself to "god seeking only his decision" and admits that he has created this prison for himself and cannot blame others for it.
It is a truly wonderful song.
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
Here he is just telling us that this song is about his sin, not to be confused with an actual court appeal
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn
My Own Prison is captured here, his emotional state for the sin he has commited. He feels trapped, isolated, damned, guilt is eating him alive.
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
He's trying to think positive here, but hides his true feelings he has inside from people he knows that would love to see him in a negative state.
The captive out from the sun part.....He's saying that we do bad things in life, and some just don't.
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally
Here he is telling us that he found his religion again and it's the answer for him
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
He did something here that he really regretted doing, and then after he feels that he is not going to dwell on his mistakes and move on with his life.
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
He is looking for direction here, and turns to his religious beliefs
this song makes me thankful for Jesus Christ and inspires me to try and live my life the way he would want me to.
"A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin"
Unannounced to him, there's hate in the wind. Others decided a fate, destroying his life for no reason other than seemingly out of the coldness of theirs. He sarcastically states there's nothing left but " my own sin" signifying that he's human, as if to describe "why". But the sin of any average person would not amount to such a horrible condemnation, or so you'd think. Yet it becomes a firm description of humanity, both alone & dark, hateful & sparked. Insinuating that those who committed this act are in the process of creating their own prison at the same time.
"The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel"
The narrative continues by describing the prison in which he's found. A description of the psychological and spiritual battle that ensues following a loss so great.
"Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion"
Silence is all that's left, his light, his purpose taken away. He is still & quiet, questioning existence, hearing only his breathe and the sounds of demons walking among him - yet no fear of the torture, just disbelief. He continues by describing himself as shackled by this loss, losing sight of what matters, losing hope, losing faith. Out comes to a point that so much time has passed, his skin begins to burn as he gives up on life and into the demons around him.
"Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn"
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
So what does he do? While he may not accept where he is, he does hold on to the meaning inside him. Refusing to give in - He holds his head up high, hiding the hate & resentment that burns inside - which only fuels their selfish pride. Describing himself as weak, crying out to all who are held captive like him.
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally
God has sent a message, thunder in the distance, visions of the cross; understanding the pain that was given to carry our burdens & loss - hearing the lion - Aslan - God - roaring in the distance, holding the key and shining the light to set him free. It is here that it becomes clear, this prison isn't of his own doing, but of others - where the continuation of it is being used as a tool to teach, to understand, to strengthen - the faith that has been lost.
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
Yet he doesn't get it. So he continues his cry to god for freedom - being told that he's "created his own prison" - which is simply a statement of his lack of faith. Have faith. Have faith is Gabriel's true statement here.
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) All held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one
(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're held captive (I created)
Out from the sun (I created)
A sun that shines on only some (I created)
We the meek are all in one (I created my own prison)
Should've been dead on a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
The repetitive chorus makes a statement - that no matter what - the only way is forward. Never give up on true meaning that sits within you. Never denounce your love, never turn your back. When hate comes knocking, when demons come walking - hold your head up high and keep on walking. Have faith & Never Give up. Cause, well, you should've been dead - but you aren't.