Badtimes

If you recieve an e-mail with the subject of 'Bad Times', delete it immediately
This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet
It will re-write your hard drive
Not only that, but it will scramble any discs that are even close to your computer
It will re-calibrate your refridgerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts
It will de-magnetise the strips on all your credit cards
Screw up the tracking on your VCR
And use sub-space field harmonics to render any CDs you try to play unreadable
It will give your ex-boy or girlfriend your new phone number
It will mix anti-freeze into your fish tank
It will drink all your beer, and leave it's socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over
It will put a dead kitten in your back pocket of your good suit, and hide the car keys when you're late for work
Bad Times will make you fall in love with a penguin
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets
It will pour sugar in your gas tank
And shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current boy or girlfriend behind your back
And billing the dinner and hotel room to your visa card
It will seduce your grandmother
It does not matter if she is dead
Such is the power of Bad Times, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold dear
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it
It will kick your dog
It will kick your dog.
It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice
It is insidious and subtle
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Bad Times will give you dutch Elm disease
It will leave the toilet seat up
It will make a batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub
And then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase high school kids with your new snowblower
These are just a few of the signs
Be very, very careful