Purest Intent

If I had forever
I would live this silence
I would feed this disease
Of which you are the cause
You are the cure
So hated and yet so sought
Penetrating my everything
I thought I did
I thought I would
Be able to put this off forever
But now as my time fades away
It seems a new reality hits
And the insured tomorrow is not a constant for me
With this impending death
I admit to myself
With me shall die my petty dreams
The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails
Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale
To die with nothing
Is a choice I've made
To derpive myself
Not telling you
Just how I live through this
Never will you hear my confessions
Like the obsession that was born of crayons and toys
And shall die with me today
The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails
Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale
It's untold
And now this loathesome beast
This would've-could've-should've spectre
Will crawl into my deathbed
And I shall smell it's foul breath
My death will pain me tenfold
Because no one will know
To hell with the spent years
and fuck the shed tears
I'll burn the books and sketches
But my guilt will keep knocking
Knocking
Knocking on my bedroom door