So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Angels mourn crying, praying for your soul
As my eyes open from their state of sleep I feel my blood
Turn into a frozen river
Nightmares so close death was in the air
My heart locked shut, and I gave you the key
Promise never to leave
As lies hold me emptiness fills my broken heart
Screaming your name hoping for a response, silence summer
Drowned by winter
To look in your face and realized the time we spent the chances I
Had have drifted away from my fingertips
Your life, your thoughts, your dreams, your love
Never tried my hardest and now I cray as the hurt enters
I love you and I still love you
Even though I never showed it
A piece of me is gone forever
Clutching memories held so close
Repeating words of love spoken to late
My eyes look all around but all they can focus on is you
For in you I find me
Days past by and thy death still lingers
This coldness will never satisfy me
I want to be surrounded by angels in a place
Where the sun is so warm it burns my insides
Surrounded by angels
Where love takes my darkest depressions
And throws it into the deepest of sea
A place I can call home, I'm crying to you Jesus
Mend me, break me, make me
You're all I've got now
My eyes look all around but all they can focus on is you
For in you I find me
Arewell my friend your time has come
And never will I be able to tell you I love you again..
As my eyes open from their state of sleep I feel my blood
Turn into a frozen river
Nightmares so close death was in the air
My heart locked shut, and I gave you the key
Promise never to leave
As lies hold me emptiness fills my broken heart
Screaming your name hoping for a response, silence summer
Drowned by winter
To look in your face and realized the time we spent the chances I
Had have drifted away from my fingertips
Your life, your thoughts, your dreams, your love
Never tried my hardest and now I cray as the hurt enters
I love you and I still love you
Even though I never showed it
A piece of me is gone forever
Clutching memories held so close
Repeating words of love spoken to late
My eyes look all around but all they can focus on is you
For in you I find me
Days past by and thy death still lingers
This coldness will never satisfy me
I want to be surrounded by angels in a place
Where the sun is so warm it burns my insides
Surrounded by angels
Where love takes my darkest depressions
And throws it into the deepest of sea
A place I can call home, I'm crying to you Jesus
Mend me, break me, make me
You're all I've got now
My eyes look all around but all they can focus on is you
For in you I find me
Arewell my friend your time has come
And never will I be able to tell you I love you again..
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This song is def a twin to "Unfair" (a song she has been quoted as saying is about falling in love with someone who is already in a relationship) so it is presumably about the same person. Given the references to buying an apartment and not being able to see her love interest "after tonight," it's most likely that she's moving away and she'll "wait a day to break the bad news" (i.e. notifying him that she's leaving once she's already gone).
And, of course, the fact that she sees in him a fellow "idealist" and "dreamer" (terms commonly given to people with the INFP personality on the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)) portends that she'll always be left wondering if they would've been perfect together.
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This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
nope...Chris Dudley has been with the band since COTP at keyboard. Corey and Dallas were basically the face of the band at this time and gave them that deathcore/metal sound. This song is actually about the death of Dallas' early girlfriend who died in a car accident (see Cries of The Past) and how he turned to God to help him overcome such loss. He initially blamed God for such occurrences and his relationship with him was distant (Act of Depression), but he soon discovered that through God he saw his girlfriend, who was a very important person in his life...a person that helped him find who he truly was inside. As cheesy as it sounds...that is the theme throughout most of this album. Research it.