There Are Pictures Of Me On The Internet

I want this song to be about something else.
I want to look elsewhere. Focus. I missed it.
But I have yet to take my eyes off the shadow I mistook for you.
Illusions create confusion fused with
feelings that I'm losing to resentment.
When yesterday's nightmare seems like a
miracle its time to go down below the decks to avoid the rain.
Bury myself inside and wonder why you keep coming up short.
But there's always one hand left that's cleaner than the one that's soiled.
One washes the other and so it slips away.
Disappointment fades, I disengage from the standards that
I've made so hard to reach. But do I even have a clue?
Yeah, thanks for the fuck. Nothing in a physical sense,
a mental captivation, a true exercise of imagination.
It takes every bit of my strength to say no but
I'm taking every step I can to learn to grow.
Inspiration yielding contemplation.
Fulfill my dreams by tearing out the seams though
I know it's not what it seems to be.
Open eyes and toleration. Self-reflection,
open to rejection, apply my own standards to myself.
Rise stiff as a board.