| Radiohead – Decks Dark Lyrics | 1 year ago |
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@[Maxxabstract:50241] I really appreciate it, thank you. I admit I was only able to share the story because of the anonymity. It wasn't until I finished rehab (hard opioid addiction, especially fentanyl. Almost 5 years clean today), that I learned its ok to be vulnerable. There is nothing weak about seeking help. PTSD is a spectrum (like every mental disorder/disease. I'm sure you all know, I'm not trying to be condescending). Some have nightmares, some have enormous guilt. I myself had bad anxiety (still do, but much better handle on it. But it's the main reason I was easily hooked on H/Fentanyl along with over prescribed opioids). It's weird because It was that long ago that I started listening to music and appreciate it. Slowly feeling genuine positive emotions, and ok with it, as opposed calling myself a "pussy" for being a lil happy. Hell, this Friday (3/8) will be my 43 bday. Last 3 bdays, I did fuck all because of depression, selfpity and misguided codependency. First time in a long time I am genuinely excited. Started hanging out with friends, and as previously stated loving music again. Going to see a bunch of bands at, I guess its a festival (in Pasadena, SoCal) Interpol, (favorite band), Ministry and bunch of solid acts; I pasted the link incase anyone is interested in the lineup. I genuinely Hope you and your friend are doing well. As for Radiohead, one negative thing I could say about them is they don't play their hits live, or not all of them. Granted I've seen them once, but I heard that from a bunch of their fans (if your favorite song is Creep, then don't expect them to play it). Do you know why that is? https://cruelworldfest.com/?mkt_campaign=BZOQRMFTSHOCQ2X7W0867L0U&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAopuvBhBCEiwAm8jaMRA4xNkhnmu3TsfSzyLzzz4QDQDC1wumOFrwE8vhhiL4Kt7pVOZGAhoCMVYQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds |
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| Radiohead – Decks Dark Lyrics | 1 year ago |
| Personally, it takes me to when I deployed to Afghanistan, early into the war - Mid 2002. I am not Rambo, or anything close to a badass; I was an IT guy. But we had to still out on convoys to connect and help setup FOB (forward operating bases). 4 of us would rotate on convoys, sometimes 3 at a time. This was before IED, so instead, what the Muj did ess strap explosives to a kid or a woman; someone that would force a soldier to stop long enough to detonate. Forgot to mention, convoys drive fast! Months into the deployment, on another soul crushing boring day as any, a convoy was hit. Injured many soldiers, and 3 burned alive. After that, I assured myself that getting my friends and myself home safely, and not only do I understand that may include hurting or killing a human, I would guilt free. Men, women, children - I don't give a fuck! I want to get home"! It was not long until I will get my first test. I was driving lead convoy, which was terrifying in itself. I saw a kid, no older than 13, and running towards the side of our vehicles. I cannot say for 100% certainty his intention was to detonate, but I didnt give him a chance. I swerved, and ran him over - no more threat. It was no long until the another incident occured, but the outcome was the same: I took out the threat by running over the kid. I never felt guilty, not becsuse I was some harden combat vet, in fact, I was a terrified 20 year old kid. I wouldn't go far and say that was the darkness that came into my life, or I "embraced" the darkness. It was justifiable according to ROE, and it was a war. If anything, it was colder that it was very easy to dissociate myself from seeing anyone who wasn't US ally, as an insignificant but a threat to me getting home alive in one peace. I'm sorry if this was morbid, but Decks Dark just takes me there instantly, but now only for a brief moment. | |
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