| LP – Lost on You Lyrics | 5 years ago |
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This song is about a relationship between a narcissist and a co-dependent person, when the co-depended is starting to feel that the relationship is failing and she is the only one working to save it, meanwhile the narcissist do whatever and doesn’t care. She starts questioning if her partner would remember their time together in the future, as she feels they won’t be together then and s/he doesn’t seem to appreciate it. She recommends her lover to do what s/he want while s/he can because she doesn’t know how long she’s gonna be able to take it. She reminds her partner that she doesn’t want anything more than them. S/he is the only thing she wants, nothing else matters, that’s why she gave, gives and will give anything to save the relationship. “I'll never get to heaven 'cause I don't know how” it’s what the narcissist makes the co-dependent feel, that she can’t do anything right, that she is incapable of achieving any goal, that she doesn’t know anything and she won’t be able to satisfy them, because s/he is like a bottomless pit that never gets enough and is always asking for more. I believe “heaven” refers to the beginning of the relationship, when all was good and it’s the thing she’s working so hard to recover. “Let's raise a glass or two to all the things I've lost on you”. She propose a toast for all the sacrifices she have made for her lover, like for the memory of something cherished that is gone. In the relationship with the narcissist she might given up family, friends, places, activities, hobbies, pleasures, trips, opportunities, jobs, her joy, her sanity, her entire life, anything that wasn’t the narcissist, because the narcissist doesn’t care about her needs, they assume she has to be there only for them. She’s an object with no feelings or needs which only purpose in life is to provide the supply that the narcissist needs. That is so painful to realize that when she does she ask her partner “Tell me are they lost on you?” or they are gone forever, if they were lost in vain, “Just that you could cut me loose”, because s/he doesn’t explicitly leaves her, but s/he neither shows any concern about the ending of the relationship, like s/he doesn’t love her and stays only out of habit (or any other excuse like kids, pets, housing, etc.), leaving the co-dependent with the hard decision to end it even though she still loves them to death. And she doesn’t want to because all the things she did for the narcissist would be definitely gone for nothing. “Wishing I could see the machinations, understand the toil of expectations in your mind”. She feels that she doesn’t understand what the narcissist wants, because s/he’s always changing it. S/he asks for something and when she does it s/he’s not satisfied, and s/he’s always twisting things, gaslighting, working very hard on making her look like she’s wrong. “Hold me like you never lost your patience”, like in the beginning, when the narcissist showed their love to her, before s/he started getting mad, furious, enraged with her. “Tell me that you love me more than hate me all the time” because the narcissist doesn’t say they don’t love her, but only shows anger, hate, disdain, contempt towards her. She still hopes that her lover still belongs to her “[tell me that] you’re still mine” and the relationship is still salvageable. “Let's take a drink of heaven, this can turn around” maintains the same idea, both have to remember what was like at the beginning and work towards that. The sad thing is that that’s not going to happen. LP said in an interview that she wrote this song a year before the break up. So she endured this awful mistreatment for a long time. I love this song, I cry every time I listen to it. I apologize for my English and I hope this wasn’t too hard to read, but I really wanted to share this interpretation as it’s so close to my heart. |
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