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Morrissey – Alsatian Cousin Lyrics 16 years ago
Alsatian: Derogatory noun or adjective for an unattractive woman.

This song is about an unattractive girl who is jealous over the affair of two people, one whom she is the secret admirer of. She sits behind him in class.
She has been spying on the two, observing their affairs.
One day, the two are passing a note in class. She can see that the note says,
"BRING ME HOME AND HAVE ME"
(Leather elbows on a tweed coat) is in reference to the other person he is having the affair with. This is stating in a catty way, that this person has no sense of style, and is asked honestly, "Is that the best you can do?"
She sees him write the reply, "BUT ON THE DESK IS WHERE I WANT YOU"
She knows that they are lovers, but confronts him anyway asking, "Where you and he lovers?" Pressing him to admit his homosexuality. This action is out of jealousy.
"WERE YOU AND HE LOVERS, AND WOULD YOU SAY SO IF YOU WERE?"

Alsatian Cousin is about falling for someone you know you will never have. In this case, a double-edged sword. Knowing you are unattractive and at the same time knowing the other person can never be attracted to you, because of sexual preference.

Morrissey has always confronted the frustrations of sexuality, both hetero and homo. Women falling for him, but he not being able to feel the same way. He, falling for men that would never consider the thought. Offering himself sexually to fans who are always willing, only to be let down from rejection in a private off-stage affair. Morrissey finds himself feeling unattractive, subjecting to self deprication.
"WHERE THE WORLDS UGLIEST BOY BECAME WHAT YOU SEE, HERE I AM, THE UGLIEST MAN." from: Late Night Maudlin Street

Morrissey relates himself to the Alsatian Cousin.

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