| Tool – Pushit Lyrics | 18 years ago |
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What we should all realize off the bat is that there were 2 different 'released' versions of this song. In the live version (Salival) Maynard comments at the beginning of the track that they're going to play it differently because it means something new to them and that they want the energy of the crowd to help propel the interpretation along. The original song (Aenima) can be interpreted many ways. Yes, I agree (sometimes against my will), that it could be about anything from abuse (including self) to relationships, religion, health, etc. I believe the song itself was crafted in such a personal and hidden way that we could all generalize until we're blue but never really touch the source of this incredible track. The live version, however, is a different story (in my opinion). Thank you F00L for transcribing this version for us (above). Allow me to be slightly long-winded due to the depth of the ideas I'm trying to express... hopefully you won't just scroll down to add your own opinion in haste. With Maynard's declaration that they were "trying to see this song from a different angle and under a different light", it should be obvious that there was a breakthrough in regards to how they felt about this song in the few years they were touring after they had recorded and pressed it. I guess, given the array of "mental states" or "frames of mind" (no, I'm not talking about drugs) you can be in on a tour, where you are playing similar set lists every night, it's inevitable that the songs that you have written from your deepest and/or darkest places will start to take new meaning. Indeed, even the greatest artist will find new inspiration in his old work. (I think I'll coin that!) With his plea to have the crowd grant him their collective feeling of vulnerability, I believe he had a very direct and essential message for all of us. No, I am not saying that "Maynard is God" or a prophet, but I believe that if there were a band out there that could speak to that which is within us… below the surface… it is Tool. Thus, I think Maynard really gave us a glimpse into our struggle. I also believe he said it in the simplest way possible. For those of you that are not familiar with the evolution of the body, mind and spirit, you should check out some Buddhist literature. Try ‘The Tibetan book of Living and Dying’ – Sogyal Rinpoche… (best source I can give while in the moment). I believe that this song (the live version) was written entirely about the evolution of the mind. A lot of people have touched on topics of God in this forum, but I don't believe it's ‘God’ that he's speaking of/to... instead, it's his ‘higher self’. There's a bit of gray between the 2 concepts that can cause confusion. If you listen to this song as a message to his ‘higher self’ as it tries to pull him through to "enlightenment", or simply our next stage of growth, it makes a whole lot of serious sense. I don't know how many of you have a voice in your head that you know is your own but can't grasp how it actually sounds? The one that speaks the words as you read to yourself, the one that you turn to when you're unsure... that little angel of good advice that you don't always take.... I believe, as is not uncommon in spiritual circles across the world, that this is our very outlet to the divine. Or brief reflection of ourselves in a higher consciousness. I believe that his song is a very direct and very focused spotlight on the struggle between the ‘Higher Self’ and the Ego (see Freud or any Buddhist literature for dynamic ideas on the function/identification of the notion). The Ego itself is the dominant mental structure in our every-day lives. The Buddhists say that it's the veil in which covers the line between the corporeal and the enlightened. It's that which blinds us and tricks us into remaining in this evolutionary state until we literally hatch from the egg. The Ego is our egg shell, that which protects us at a very basic level and allows us to grow without the pressures and mind-blowing intensity that is ‘God’. Even though the Ego tends to hold some people back (those who grow very quickly inside the shell) it is completely essential in our evolution... as important as the brain, the heart and the lungs. As much as it is necessary, it is also very tricky. It has the ability to fool all of the senses, to shut you down if it needs to... to direct your train of thought as you drift away. We give full control of ourselves to this innate consciousness and handfuls of us come to realize it entirely. When we start to wake up, it's terrifying... like being pushed from the womb. We are about to undertake reality-shattering events that will re-construct everything we thought we knew. In order to cross through to the next layer of reality/consciousness, we have to be able to leave the womb behind... and that is one of the hardest things a human being can be asked to do. Just look at how we react as babies when we are born and how we deal with the world as we learn and grow. Life a we know it isn’t always the easiest place to exist. The fact of the matter is that we can't stay in the shell forever, regardless of how comfortable or familiar it becomes. The shell (Ego) will ultimately become too small or narrow for our expanding mental/spiritual capacity as humans. We have to come to terms with the idea and ease ourselves through the passing, as not to cause ourselves any more shock than necessary. When I hear this song and I think this way, it makes me realize that “all of this pain really is an illusion”... that we should embrace our evolution and start to 'question authority' (ego) regardless of how often this authority attempts to trick us into staying. It is just our reflection. As you can tell, I'm very passionate about this song and the truth that rings through me every time I hear it. Hopefully there's at least one other person out there that shares the same perspective. If not, sorry for wasting your time. |
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