This song had me when it first came out. I was in college, and I remember how it made me cry. My older sister was hospitalized in a psych hospital and was really suffering. When I heard “if I only could, is make a deal with God and get Him to swap out places” (sorry if it's not word for word) I I felt that so much, cause she's been through so much, and was so frail, that I used to oray seriously tonGodctobpleasevletvme take her place and make her all better. Now, decades later, she is happy and living a wonderful life. It took a lot if work, but she made it out if her nightmare.
Most recently, I begged God the same thing, but for my precious 29 year old daughter. When she was 28, I noticed a change in her. Little by little it ate away at her mind..she became full blown paranoid by December of 2021. She moved back in with me, which I was so blessed by. She was on meds but she did not always take them because she didn't want to be too tired for work, bless her sweet soul. She was such a brave little soldier - always, but especially during this tragic time. I felt her slipping away from me as the paranoia grew. It was fierce and relentless. She thought our whole house was bugged, and our neighbors were trying to get her. She thought all her devices were bugged and tracking her, and soon she though that I was soyung on her, too, and was gonna turn her in. I couldn't get through to her, I tried everything. She put sheets up on her window to prevent the bad people from getting her. It broke my heart over and over. U begged God to make the deal, please, please let me trade places with her, day after bday, night after night. I couldn't even physically hold her at that point. I just knew if I could break through I could help her. I begged and pleaded with God to make the deal...but He didn't. On Aprilb5, 2022, my dearest love went out to our garage and hung herself. The minute my son told me, I had a vision flash in my mind (and I'm definitely not the” God gave me a vision” type, but I saw a hand reaching down through an old faded green window and grabbing her hand upward...i will never deny the vision, I cherish it cause it was like Jesus immediately grabbed her before she hit the ground. I know I will be with her and my husband again. Never say goodbye again. 💔 |
