| Joy Division – Leaders of Men Lyrics | 4 months ago |
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It seems to me this one really is about Nazism, more specifically about how the Nazis abused Weimar democracy and public sentiments to seize power, with terrible consequences. "Born from some mother's womb/Just like any other room" - this line grapples with the fact that, while we're all born into the world as helpless innocent babies, some individuals do turn out to be 'leaders of men' and to have a consequential impact on the world - Hitler, for example. As much as I dislike Great Man Theory, I have to concede that, while there would probably have been a WW2 at some point without Hitler, the actions and ideologies of that individual shaped the course of history. "Made a promise for a new life/Made a victim out of your life" - the Nazis came into power on the back of public dissatisfaction in the context of economic turmoil in inter-war Germany and national humiliation at the outcome of WWI. The Nazi party promised German people a 'new life' (i.e. economic prosperity and a renewed strong German state) but ultimately all they delivered was a war which made victims out of many of their own supporters. Nazi power was indeed 'born out of frustration' and enjoyed mass popular support - at rallies people often displayed a 'strange infatuation' with Hitler. 'When your times on the door...' - This might refer to the fact that, once in power, the Nazis turned on various groups within society one by one. There was a culture of fear and even the most obedient individuals worried that they were next in line for persecution for whatever spurious reason. For many supporters it probably became apparent that they'd made a terrible mistake and they now faced a 'nightmare situation' that they couldn't escape. "And the seeds that are sown/ Are no longer your own" - the seeds had been sown but the public no longer had ANY control, democracy (however tenuous and unsatisfactory it had proven in the Republic) was no more... enter totalitarianism... 'Just a minor operation To force a final ultimatum' - Perhaps relates to how quickly Nazi policies became barbaric and depraved, starting with persecutions of political opponents which probably didn't seem too egregious to many ordinary people (there was a lot of anti-communist sentiment) but progressing to the absolute horror of the Final Solution which is repugnant to anyone with an ounce of humanity. 'Minor operation' could also refer to the Nazi expansionism that led, step by step, to world war (the 'final ultimatum' which Hitler probably wanted all along, although he hugely underestimated what it would actually entail). 'Smacks of past holy wars' - This probably refers to how Nazi war mongering was absolutely driven by ideology. It wasn't just your 'regular' modern era war of state expansionism or imperial ambition. For Hitler it was a war of religion (the 'religion' being racial purity). 'Made a promise for a new life/No saviour for our sakes/To twist the internees of hate/Self-induced manipulation' - these few lines really sum it up. Hitler got into power on the promises discussed above, but he had no intention of being a 'saviour' for ordinary German people who, understandably, were dissatisfied and disillusioned in the 1920s. He used power to ruthlessly pursue his twisted policies of hate, interning (and exterminating) political opponents, Jews, Slavs, Poles, disabled people, etc. The fact that Curtis uses the term 'self-induced manipulation' suggests a lack of sympathy for the predicament of German citizens who supported the Naxi party in the early 1930s, but I think he understood very well the forces that were at play, and was quite fascinated by this historically unique and tragic series of events. |
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| The Smashing Pumpkins – Here Is No Why Lyrics | 1 year ago |
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This song isn't about anybody else, Corgan is in dialogue with himself (as he is in most of his lyrics). Note the recurrent themes in his work: "glitter burned by restless thoughts of being forgotten" - despite his cynicism about the music industry, Corgan alludes to his need to be appreciated and commended as a musician. He knows he's a "star", but he also knows the limitations to this. Think about the lines from Cherub Rock: "beware all those angels with their wings glued on/Cause deep down they are frightened and they're scared if you don't stare". He sometimes hates the industry, but he also needs it - this tension is a recurrent theme in his music. "the lonely towers of long mistakes" - such a beautifully evocative image, one can literally see the tall shadows thrown down from the towers of regrets. Regrets are a recurring theme with Corgan. "I've tried so hard to cleanse these regrets" (Today). "Be ashamed, mess you've made" (Quiet). "sitting still was never enough" - this echos other lyrics expressing Corgan's aspirations and drive, always tinged with disappointment as he never quite seems to get what he wants: "I wanted more than life could ever grant me" (Today). "I want too much [...] Just a touch, it's not enough" (Eye). There's another example but it slips my mind. "if you're giving in, then you're giving up" - Corgan's positivity here mirrors themes in Tonight Tonight - "life can change, you're not stuck in vain [...] we'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight [...] Believe in me as I believe in you". "In your sad machines you'll forever stay burning up in speed lost inside the dreams, of teen machines" - he acknowledges his anger and frustration (mostly about the record industry and the way his music is received. Looking at the comments on here I can't say I blame him! Think Cherub Rock and Bullet With The Butterfly Wings). However, he also recognises that he can't let the anger and frustration burn him up. His life/career didn't turn out the way he imagined. He's never happy with his achievements. He acknowledges the things that cause him pain, but resolves to keep pressing on (This is actually similar to my interpretation of Today: people think that song is about suicide, but it's actually about acceptance and resolve as far as I'm concerned). In conclusion, this track encompasses many classic Corgan themes. We know Corgan can be depressive. We know he feels cynical, angry and frustrated, especially about the industry and misinterpretation of his music. But he also has a crazy work ethic and is a prolific song-writer. He knows his own talent and rightly wants recognition. He set high standards for himself and his bandmates and expects perfection. He's never happy with how things are, always wants more. Despite his tenancy to depression, his lyrics are often pragmatic and positive. He acknowledges the things that get him down (and they do get him really down) but he's not going to let it ruin him. There's not one emotion or theme we can tag to Corgan, his lyrics cover the entire compass of human feeling and experience with candidity, that's what makes them so brilliant. It's easy to draw dotted lines connecting extracts of Corgan's lyrics to unmentionable individuals, but if you take them as a whole, it's obvious they are entirely personal and self-reflective. |
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| Marilyn Manson – Man That You Fear Lyrics | 1 year ago |
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I actually think this song has less to do with dodgy parental relationships and is more of a general criticism of American society. "Peel off all those eyes, Crawl into the dark, You've poisoned all of your children, to camouflage your scars" I think this refers to the way that, rather than acknowledging the complexities of human nature, society has constructed a simplistic framework based on ideas of "good" and "evil". Children are indoctrinated from a young age (poisoned), and it's hoped that religious conviction will keep them in the dark and camouflage all the hypocrisies - the fact that mainstream culture spends a great deal of time revelling in things that are supposedly "sinful" and forbidden, and that very few people actually practice what they preach, since much of it is fundamentally contrary to human nature. Still, the kids won't notice, will they? Of course Warner was a perceptive kid, and he totally picked up on the contradictions, which left him feeling confused and "othered". The "boy that you loved", once an obedient disciple, opened his eyes (whilst other people peeled theirs off) and he couldn't ignore the hypocrisy he witnessed. Due to his perceptive and curious mind he couldn't force himself to conform as other people do so blindly and unquestioningly: "I have it all and I have no choice but to". He's "so tangled in his sins that [he] cannot escape" because these so-called "sins" are just realities of human nature and thus, he acknowledges, part of his identity. Maybe people shouldn't be trying (and usually failing) to "escape" them anyway. But because society is set on its course, Manson is treated as an outsider merely for posing questions and making valid criticisms. Well, he'll "make everyone pay and you will see". He might have failed on "making them see" (they're a stubborn lot), but he has certainly made them pay to an extent: through his lyrics he holds up a mirror to American society to reflect the ugly bits. He throws in all the blasphemies, curses and "dark" imagery, using the shock factor as a tool to wreak hysteria, thus becoming "the man that you fear". The irony is that shock is a social construct - people are only shocked by this stuff because they've been drinking the kool-aid all their lives (shock is all in your head). Meanwhile, predictably, the real meaning is lost on the mainstream - while they're busy being horrified, Manson's valid criticisms go straight over their pretty, devout, conformist heads. Musically, I'm don't rate the band particularly highly. But lyrically, intellectually, in terms of creative delivery, I have total respect for Manson. By encouraging a few generations of kids to think a little more independently he's done the world a great service. |
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| The Smashing Pumpkins – Ava Adore Lyrics | 1 year ago |
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To me this feels like a satire of the conventional love song where everything is praiseworthy and perfect. This is a song about the realities of love. There are the positive bits: "you're the beauty in my world", "it's you that I adore", "a mother to my child..." etc Then there are the more negative elements. Couples fight: "you're the murder in my world", "in you I crash cars". The possessiveness: the insistence that "we must never be apart", "you'll always be my whore". And the fact that couples can have unrealistic expectations of each other: "I'll pull your crooked teeth, you'll be perfect just like me" Then there are the sexual aspects which seem to me to have both positive and negative elements: "in you I feel so hungry/taste God" indicates sexual contentment. "In you I feel so dirty" is ambiguous - as with "whore", it could be taken cheekily or have more negative connotations. I wonder if the lyrics are intentionally ambiguous to highlight the different faces of love which can be present at the same time in relationships and are often difficult to read. I think the song is acknowledging that love isn't the picture-perfect force of the conventional love-song. It can be beautiful but it encompasses elements that can be troubling. I don't think it's necessary saying any of this is wrong, it's just about acknowledging the realities of love instead of painting over them. Or it could just be a load of words that sound good together! |
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| The Smashing Pumpkins – Cherub Rock Lyrics | 1 year ago |
| @[itmeanskurt:50276] Probably. But seriously, don't go there lol, THAT really does wind me up! | |
| The Smashing Pumpkins – Cherub Rock Lyrics | 1 year ago |
| @[itmeanskurt:50272] It's certainly not my explanation of every Pumpkins song, it's my explanation of THIS Pumpkins song. And it's pretty similar to other peoples' interpretations because sometimes lyrics do just mean what they say. | |
| The Smashing Pumpkins – Cherub Rock Lyrics | 1 year ago |
| Of course this is about Billy's disillusionment with the music industry (similar vibe to Bullet with the Butterfly Wings) but I'm wondering if the meaning can be broadened out to say something about society more generally. People don't care so much about the "good stuff" (honey) like quality and integrity, it's all about what sells. Industries decide "who is righteous, what is bold" and clever marketing convinces consumers what they want, need, and to some extent how they should think. Obviously Billy feels like he'll be a "somebody's fool" if he "gives in" to curbs on his creatively, but equally, we as consumers are all guilty of being fools too. I think in the second verse he's recognising that consumers have a voice, but there's something unconvincing about it, like he doubts anything is likely to actually change. Maybe it's the "hipsters unite" line - sounds a bit ironic to me. | |
| Hole – Violet Lyrics | 1 year ago |
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@[Ashtreeman15:49806] Three things: 1. Courtney is brilliant with her imagery, she likes to paint beautiful pictures which contrast with the ugly truth of the lyrics. 2. The violet/amethyst sky evokes romance, contrasting with the issues discussed in the song 3. Stars like little fish suggests intoxication. If you happen to look at the night sky when you're off your head, you might notice the stars have little tails and are all swimming around! See my full interpretation below. The amethyst and little fish lines are my favourite in the song. Courtney is always brilliant at setting the scene and evoking beauty while hitting the listener with brutal truths |
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| Hole – Miss World Lyrics | 1 year ago |
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I think Miss World is about fame, and the way famous people are treated by the industry, the media, and the public. 'Watch me break and watch me burn' refers to way mainstream media feasts on stars like vultures, feeding the public appetite for revelment in other people's misfortune with cruel headlines. 'Kill me pills' might refer to the reactions of industry bosses who see a star with personal problems as an impediment to profit. Typically they either dose the person up with stimulants so they can keep performing, or send them to rehab to 'recuperate', where they are probably dosed up with sedatives to keep them quiet. This allows the industry to look like it gives a shit while conveniently preventing further embarrassing public spectacles. Or sometimes, the industry just cuts its losses and lets the star destroy themselves, often ending up with suicide or overdose. Then the media crys crocodile tears and crows about what a tragedy it is, forgetting all the poison they'd been spreading a few months earlier. 'No one is listening' - nobody really cares about the star as a person, when they're not providing entertainment, either through art or by publicly unravelling. 'I made my bed, I'll lie in in' - the star might think it's their own fault for being in the public eye in the first place, either way, the scrutiny is inescapable. The overall message is that stars are people with feelings, strengths and weaknesses, not just commodities to be held up as either heroes or villains at the whim of public demand for drama. One only needs to glance at some of the comments on here to see this in action - the villanisation of Courtney. I'm not old enough to remember any 90's examples of this, but I definitely remember the savage gossip magazine headlines of the noughties - definitely the age of celebrity rehab and public meltdowns. |
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| Hole – Use Once And Destroy Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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This song is about heroin, withdrawal, and that horrible love/hate relationship addicts have with the drug. "Use Once And Destroy" not only is this sometimes printed on hypodermics (as others have noted), it's a warning: use heroin once and it might destroy your life. "It's the ache inside when it all burns out". This describes the physical withdraw "when it all burns out" (when your last hit wears off). It's a brilliant description of the overall horror of withdrawal as, along with all the medical symptoms that are easily listable, there is something that is harder to name which is like an ache inside, an absolute yearning for heroin and a hollow feeling without it. "It's poisonous, it muscles, it aches" This directly describes the muscle aches of withdrawal, but also the feeling that every pore of your body is rejecting a poison, through every bodily function going into overdrive (I'll leave the details to imagination). Stupidly, that same poison is also the only cure. I think that's what "buttered and knived" refers to - it's your best friend and your worst enemy, it'll make you better but it'll also make you sick again later. "It's the bitter root, it's twisted inside" Addiction is so deep rooted, it becomes such a part of a person it's very hard to escape "Too terrified of you frozen breath" I think this is about fear of withdrawal, which makes one very cold and shivery - like ice in the veins, cold to the core. Most addicts live in absolute dread of withdrawal and dedicate their lives to avoiding it at all costs. The fear of "frozen breath" makes it too terrifying to stop using. "It's the heart you used to have when it died It's the emptiness, it poisons, it lies" Heroin morally corrupts people, they stop caring about things, they sleep-walk through life from hit to hit. Life becomes very empty. It poisons people physically and mentally. It makes people lie and the drug itself lies - it gives you a false sense of contentment, and it even cons the body physically, for example thinking it's hot when it's cold "It's everything that you'll never find" Heroin makes everything seem better, so whatever it was that was lacking or problematic in one's life isn't such an issue. In this way, heroin delivers "everything you'll never find". But also, once people get a habit, they struggle to recapture the feeling heroin gave them in the early days and often spend years chasing something they'll never find. Some of the other lyrics talk about how low heroin takes people. I'm not sure what the "rescue" bits are about, I have a few theories but it would depend on the context this was written in and I don't pretend to be an expert on Courtney's life. It's enough for me that some of her lyrics perfectly express things that I've found difficult to put into words. |
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| Hole – Malibu Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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My interpretation of this song: It's from the viewpoint of an addict currently going through clean time, but seeing someone they care about who is still emersed in active addiction, and just wishing that person could pull themselves out of the abyss too. The person the lyrics describe is deep in addiction - they are still alive, as evidenced by "How'd you stay alive?" and "Get well soon". But it's only a matter of time if they carry on as they're going. Obviously this could be sung about a previous experience, about someone who has since passed (I know a lot of people are desperate for every song on this album to be about Kurt) but I think that's unlikely personally, as these feelings are very specific to certain phases of the fluctuating active addiction/recovery journey. The music accompanying these lyrics is upbeat. This reflects the positivity addicts often feel during clean time (after going through the hell of withdrawal - usually one starts to feel more positive after 6 weeks of abstinence). Suddenly, the fog of numbness they've been living under for so long is lifted - they're able to take pleasure in normal things, notice the beauty of nature, enjoy feeling the ocean breeze on their face. It's like going from analogue to Ultra HD. There is a realisation that there is a world out there, which one doesn't notice when the driving force of life is using copiously and avoiding sickness every hour of every day. There's a sense of positivity, that they've achieved this clean time, and optimism that people they care about can also get a grip on their own addictions. Unfortunately this positivity often doesn't last and relapse is common when the "honeymoon period' with sobriety is over. But these lyrics are in the context of this positivity, and are looking with regret at a loved one who is still deep in active addiction, and saying "come and join me, just get away from it all, it is possible". I actually think the last couple of lines aren't as positive as they sound. "Light" and "radiates" sound complementary, but I think this is actually expressing that she can't be around this person in their current state, because they represent a beacon, tempting her to use. I think "radiates" might actually mean this person is toxic to be around at the moment, as much as she loves them and totally empathises with their situation. This is what I love about Courtney's lyrics - along with the beautiful imagery, the deeper meanings are often quite subtle, so people take the songs to be about whatever - love, Kurt, etc etc. There are elements of that, of course he was an important part of her life. But I know from experience that drugs are usually the real love of an addict's life, even if they're in a co-dependent relationship, even if they have kids, it's sad to say. Even if they get clean, there's still that conflicting love-hate relationship with something that used to be their dearest friend (it's hard to shake that off) but took away so much of their time, their peace, their empathy |
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| Hole – Teenage Whore Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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Besides the obvious theme of the strained mother-daughter relationship, I feel there's a wider message in this song: The irony is, although the mother tries to appear concerned, wanting to understand her daughter's problems, she is still calling her a whore to her face! This reflects on how society often reacts to "troubled" people (this may be people suffering with addiction, mental health problems - or anything else society finds difficult to understand). The song highlights the superficiality of people asking questions like "what's wrong?" - often they don't really want to know the answer, they've already decided the person is just messed up, useless, or whatever. They're only asking to follow some social convention, and to absolve themselves from their own guilt. I see this song as a metaphor for a wider trend of behaviour, where society shows fake concern about a lot of issues, although judgements have often already been made. And oftentimes the problems people are suffering with are a result of failures of the state to protect them when they were young, so there's that aspect too - the disapproving mother failing to recognise her own responsibility in her daughter's predicament |
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| Hole – Doll Parts Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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I think this song deals with three ideas, which have been mentioned by other posters 1. Female rivalry 2. Feelings of unrequited love 3. The message that beauty can be a curse as well as a blessing, as beautiful people are likely to be objectified, treated like dolls, subjected to unwanted sexual advances, etc. I think this is what is meant by "it stands for knife, for the rest of my life". Of course beauty isn't for life, it usually fades, but the damage to that person's inner self could be permanent |
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| Hole – Violet Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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To me the first lines do describe the night sky - the "stars were just like little fish" makes me think of that blurriness one gets when drunk. Many of Courtney's lyrics include beautiful imagery (scenes of nature, stars, angels, pretty girls and boys etc) contrasting with the darker, uglier nature of the actual meaning in the lyrics. I don't think this song is about a particular person. I think the lyrics represent the experiences Courtney had as a beautiful young woman, an aspiring actress and musician - and a bit of a wild girl as well. Some of her other lyrics deal with the abuses suffered by young girls trying to make it in the industry, and we know she disapproved of the antics of other musicians with young groupies on tour. But I don't think she's solely trying to highlight misogyny - although there's an element of that - I think this song is also a bit of self-reflection on past choices, and a warning to young girls about how the world can be. "When they get what they want they never want it again" is a reference to one-night-stands or other situations where one party at least sees it as purely a one-time thing. Like someone else pointed out "you should know when to say no" is a common excuse in non-consensual situations, but it can also be how a woman feels about herself after consensual sexual encounters - it's like she's reproaching herself for getting into those situations. I was pretty wild when I was young and had a lot of encounters while drunk/on drugs. It makes sense to me when Courtney twists the lyrics to "When I get what I want.." and "I want it again [...] I'm the one with no soul". I put myself in those situations, and yeah I often enjoyed it in some ways, or I certainly told myself that at the time. I tried to take that power and say "I'm the one making this a one-night thing, I don't care, I can enjoy crazy drunken sex as much as any bloke can". But when you get older you realise all those negative experiences (which is how I view them now, however culpable I was at the time) do have a damaging affect, on how a woman views herself, the world, and interacts with the opposite sex in the future - "Mine is forever". That's why my interpretation of this song is that it's both a dig at misogynistic men who take advantage of women, but also an expression of regret at past choices and possibly a warning to other girls to think carefully about what they really want. |
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| Placebo – Haemoglobin Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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I understand the racism angle, the lyrics fit that interpretation, but I always took this song to be about someone hanging themselves - they were prepared for "one big silence" but before death arrives they are cut down and given medical treatment. While the medics work on them they realise that "haemoglobin is the key" - i.e. it's a better to just keep on breathing, for the heart to keep beating. The person is partly annoyed at being saved - "brimming with defiance" - and still struggling with whatever drove them to suicide in the first place ("some lack of kindness"?). But they realise, screw the world, instead of dying I'm just going to keep breathing ("you've never seen such perseverance"). I'm not gonna be the one to back down, I'll make all you bastards scared of me. I'm not sure how the colour blindness fits into this - I admit it lends itself to the racism theory - my only suggestion is perhaps it refers to a monochromatic view of the world - extreme emotions (bi-polar?) which led the person to suicide in the first place. They realise that life isn't black and white, they just need to find a way to keep going. That's what I always took the song to mean but I credit the racism theory too |
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| Hole – Northern Star Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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None of us know what Courtney was thinking when she wrote this - maybe it is about Kurt as people suggest - but for me it has a different meaning. I was listening to this when I was coming off heroin after 17 years addiction and it totally spoke to me. I hear the lyrics like this: The 'Northern Star' is heroin - 'the pitiful' and 'the angels ' are the addicts who are totally devoted to the Northern Star - they kneel at its feet and follow it (the actual northern star was historically used for navigation) although they know it won't lead them anywhere good. 'It's cold in here, there's no one left' - this describes how hollow life can be as an addict, how family and friends often disappear 'Its black in here block out the sun' - this is both literal and metaphoric: addicts do tend to hide away from the world in darkened rooms. Addicts also often block out the 'light' in their lives, drawing away from friends, family, giving up jobs, etc. Their devotion to the Northern Star supercedes everything else which used to mean something in their lives. Also life as an addict can be 'black' i.e. people lose their morality and do bad things - the hearts of the 'angels' (addicts) can become 'cold as ice' 'Praying to the wound that swallows all that's cold and cruel' - the 'wound that swallows' is the injection site. Heroin allows people not to care about their troubles - all that's 'cold and cruel' in the world melts away. Also it physically has a warming affect. The cold shivers of withdrawal are instantly 'swallowed' when one injects heroin 'Our misery runs wild and free' - addiction is miserable but once you're stuck in it that life you embrace it. The wild drug life can seem fun at the time, apart from when you run out of drugs (please note that I'm NOT encouraging or condoning it. It is NOT fun and it ruins lives). Once an addict gets deep into addiction and has given up on the responsibilities of family, work, etc, there is a sense of freedom despite the chaos of the lifestyle - all you need to worry about is scoring, nothing else matters 'I knew the fire and the ashes of his grace' - for me this refers to the difference feelings caused by heroin: when he graces you with his presence it's a lovely warm feeling (fire), but it takes you to a very low place (ashes), especially when you don't have any. Also there's not much left of a person deep in addiction, only the ashes remain of their former life 'And I want you And blessed are the broken And I beg you No loneliness, no misery is worth you' - this shows the love/hate relationship with the drug: obviously I 'want' it, and I'm totally subservient to it ('I beg you') but at the same time I want to get out of this life - however much I love heroin, I know deep down the misery I go through isn't worth it, I'm getting nothing out of this relationship. For me, 'blessed are the broken' refers to the addicts, who are broken people, but were probably good people with a lot of potential before they got sucked into addiction Finally, the various 'He's so cold, he will ruin/rule/win the world / raining on the world tonight' refers to the cruelness of the Northern Star (heroin) who preys on the world, causing misery, but sadly winning more followers every day For me this song totally sums up that life, the total devotion to the drug, how it affects people and the emotions that come with it - the love/hate relationship. Who knows if that's how it was intended... |
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| Bring Me the Horizon – Crooked Young Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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When I was in rehab (not a 12 Step Program but they sent us out to meetings) they said when they refer to "god" it can mean any higher power, but what about people who don't believe in a higher power? This girl stood up and said "I'm a Christian and I'm sorry but there is only one God". It's funny that some Christians don't realise that "their" God - the Abrahamic God - is the same God as that of Islam and Judaism. It's also funny how one poster said they don't think the lyrics are blasphemous - um, yeah they are totally blasphemous but blasphemy doesn't mean anything if you don't believe in God! Crazy how religious people can't understand that others don't share their beliefs. I agree with Oli's cynical sarcasm - if only sitting in a sharing circle at a meeting and "accepting God" was a foolproof way to get clean, I needn't have wasted 17 years of my life as a heroin addict! |
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| Bring Me the Horizon – Hospital For Souls Lyrics | 2 years ago |
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I think the clue is in the name "Hospital for Souls", my feeling is this is about addiction yes - but more specifically about Oli's rehab experience. "The fragile, the broken Sit in circles and stay unspoken" That's exactly what happens at rehab, everyone's fucked up in their own ways, but nobody really wants to share with the circle Someone else mentioned about the bullshit questions therapists ask... "How are we on a scale of one to ten? Could you tell me, what you see? Do you wanna talk about it? How does that make you feel?" The scale of one to ten makes me laugh cos at my local drug service they used to do a thing with us on monthly meetings where we had to score different areas of our lives out of 10 - relationships, money, police troubles, health, etc. The other thing I would note is that I don't think he used drugs to make the "numb inside me go away" as someone else said. I think he means he got clean to make the numb go away, since his drug of choice (ketamin) has a numbing effect, as does my former drug of choice (heroin). As an addict, numb was exactly what I was looking for - what I paid all that money for - but after a while it gets kinda shitty not giving a shit about anything or anyone. It's so true "even hell can get comfy once you've settled in" - that's why despite the health problems, the arrests, the lack of money, the stigma, it took me 17 years to get clean. |
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