| Gary Wright – Dreamweaver Lyrics | 9 years ago |
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Greetings and heartfelt salutations, Clearly this vainglorious minstrel presumed his vocal cords were installed by the gods of song themselves, for he stretches them to the heights of Heaven so as to turn them into ideal ropes for his nefarious purposes, which are none other than subjecting listeners to a sort of sexless verbal bondage and assuming they are aroused by his lyrical knots. His words are not tied as tight as he believes, however, and astute listeners will catch onto Gary Wright's shoddy construction of himself as the titular "Dreamweaver," connecting strand after weak strand of lazy lyrics together in the hopes the resulting rope/song will prove that he deserves the mystical title he has vaingloriously bestowed upon himself. It is clear upon subsequent listens that the "weaving" Wright proposes is none other than pre-bed-time masturbation, and the sticky strands that fly from Gary's buxom sex dreams are the soporific he so desperately hopes will "get [him] through the night." In the end, the only people sleeping through the night are the poor sods who gave this fraying song a listen. I would know, I've treated these individuals for somnambulism and "Dreamweaver"-induced narcolepsy. By the by, if you happen to desire treatment of any kind, stop by my office in Baltimore, MD, and make sure to mention that you found me on songmeanings.com - your consultation will be on the house! Cordially yours, Dr. Chester von Schrödonger |
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| Tex Ritter – The Old Chisholm Trail Lyrics | 9 years ago |
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This song is infamously well known for being the inspiration behind the short story on which visionary director Ang Lee's "Brokeback Mountain" is based (I do not recall the name of the short story but it is a seminal text in queer studies). "Chisholm" is a code word for the gays (I can write this because I am a gay) and its similarity to jizm is no coincidence. The other indicators of homoerotic expression are almost too numerous to analyze, but I'll attempt a cursory examination here. The repetition of "come a ti yi yippee, come a ti yi yay", "punchin' Texas cattle" (it's code for punchin' Texas asshole), "afore I sleep the moon shines bright" (pre-bed anal sex), "no [ass] chaps, no slicker" (no clothes, no lubrication, which is the sort of rough and rugged living that cowboys would have preferred in those days ((very dangerous, I would know after hours and hours of personal and professional research))), "feet in the stirrups and seat in the saddle" (no explanation necessary), "I'll ride as long as an eight-day clock" ("eight-day clock" is a homophonous phrase standing in for "ate a cock"). These don't even begin to scratch the surface of this song's deep homoerotic undertones, but I must stop my examination here to undertake an explanation of sex trafficking back in the day. "We rounded 'em up and put 'em on the cars, / And that was the last of the old Two Bars" is the key to this song's darker meanings, confirming that the gay cowboys were nefarious for rounding up young boys and roping them into the cowboy lifestyle. This indoctrination process is completed after eating "bacon and beans most every day," as "bacon and beans" is cowboy slang for greasy, hearty sex. The last verse in the song is self-explanatory. I hope this in-depth, well-researched deconstruction of "The Old Jizm Trail" by Sex Ritter has enhanced your understanding of the old cowboy lifestyle. Signing off, Dr. Chester von Schrödonger |
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