| Adele – Hello Lyrics | 10 years ago |
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@[kukricowboy:7123] You are an amazing person. You are very similar to my friend in almost every way...weird! He is very strong. You describing how you see things has helped clear my vision as well so thank you for that. the fact is, I HAVE tried to treat my husband the way I ultimately want to be treated and after 7 years for us (weird coincidence again) he still doesn't know what makes me tick or "gets" it. i am also a Reiki practitioner...I have asked the guides to guide me in this so I make the right choices for myself. i have been shown a lot and now I am taking steps solely for myself or being selfish if you will about bringing about my own happiness. Also, it is weird that you say you are an artist...my friend is one too. he gave me a bracelet that was a huge dragonfly. Even though I returned those items it wasn't because i didn't want them or they didn't mean anything to me (an instinctively I feel they will come back to me when the time is right) it's because he was so sure I wasn't his friend that i felt it and I actually didn't feel right keeping them if he felt that way if that makes sense? it wasn't to hurt him or anything of that nature. Also, before I received this notification I actually went to a friend of his today (something told me to) to check in on his well being. I asked his friend if he was safe and okay because of a housing issue which became a problem for him and I. I felt instinctively he needed to do this on his own. cut the apron strings if you will with his living situation and i just could not help with that. He took it as me not being there for him which is not true, looking at the bigger picture I knew it would be a very awkward living arrangement if I offered him a place to stay in my home..it would not feel comfortable for me and in the long run it would not feel comfortable for him either so. I was thinking of his will being living possibly with my husband and I and that...would just be not okay in my book because I feel there is more under the surface than just friendship and I am not willing to put myself in temptations way to test my morals and that is honestly what it would be. I am in no way shape or form a cheater but I am not going to put myself in a situation were it is going to make myself question my moral standing. He is christian as well, I am pagan. Though our spiritual beliefs have never been an issue at all. He finds my spiritual path interesting and intriguing so it's deff something we discuss and enjoy each others opinions on. It makes me wonder if he is doing the same things with the items I have sent to him over the years and cards. If he trashed them or if he is keeping them. I did a reading, High Priestess card so that just tells me there are certain things I am not meant to know right now until the time is right but the letters ont eh card are his initials...so...yeah. And you are right, he can give me everything I ever wanted. I settled for something less bright. i knew in my gut it wasn't right just because I was afraid to be on my own and afraid of waiting for him and just enjoying who I am in the process. Though, I fear that I have lost him forever but my gut tells me it isn't quite over yet. He's never checked on me that I know of so I don't know what to think of that. And yes, I have the bad habit of answering questions about people with my own judgments and my own fears. the really sad thing is, the person I have showed him is not really who I am. I'm not needy and I'm not weak minded and so on. I guess it was a way of testing him to see if he would stick around during something to see if he really cared. Again, creating something negative to see what would happen which is not healthy. I feel intuitively about his feelings as well so I know that it is very hard for him to remain my friend so I understand that. Because it would be hard for me to remain his friend if he was with someone and it would really hurt me. thank you for sharing your story and your thought process with me. it has helped bring things into focus. I really do appreciate that. :) Just send out to the universe that I hope I didn't wait to long and my friend hasn't given up on me yet because I haven't given up on him. |
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| Adele – Hello Lyrics | 10 years ago |
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@[kukricowboy:7062] I deff can feel how you feel. My gut tells me him and ai are not finished. I would never ever cheat. Ever. I really tried to be his friend. He has some health issues that kinda get in the way some times and ai have been very supportive. The thing is he has never been open with his emotions or ever told me how he truly feels towards. So, I really don't know. I get the gut instinct that our problems stem because he feels he can't tell me because I am with someone. Which I completely understand. It's honorable. He's very old fashion and respectful in that regard. Something that I completely love about him. Our friendship comes first. Always. And I have tried to make sure to always be there do him the best way I can. He's very stubborn and sometimes is very zoned into what he doesn't have versus what we have together as friends. There's also secrets. From him. So I am the one with trust issues. I feel once those secrets come out we could progress. I do t know though. The man I'm with I married because I was afraid to be alone. To be completely honest. I just wanted to hurting to stop. I have given this man 7 years of my life and it feels like he doesn't know anything about me. At all. There's other things too. The man (friend) that I am in love with has taught me so my ba out myself. Has taught me what I want in a relationship. I just would rather be alone if I couldn't have what I am worth if that makes since? I know my worth now and I feel like he was the only one who saw it. But again it's hard because he is one of those very quiet types. Never has felt anything for a woman until after the physical aspect of the relationship. I'm just not built like that. But I get it may be just a man thing since some are like that. I am so sorry you are going through this. I can feel how difficult it is for you. I have learned that if I put into the universe and really believe in something it comes true. I also believe in Twinflames. He is mine and sometimes it a rocky road to unite with them. I honestly don't know why he has trust issues with me because I really never did anything to betray his trust. It's mostly in his head because of his past relationships. Which is why ai have given him leeway several times. I just feel also that he has never take. The time to really get to know me on certain things he just assumes he does and he likes to play little head games which makes me pull away from him. I truly hope that you find someone who will love u the way u deserve. Your situation sounds similar to mine. Like creepily similar. I guess it's something in the air. Idk either. If he would contact me and say he was sorry if forgive him. I just want the truth. About everything we have gone through. If ai have the truth I feel like we could finally be free and just be with no expectations an what not if that makes sense? He basically told me to screw off. So I did what he asked me too. BecaUe I love him and the most beautiful form of love is to let them Be happy wether or not their in your life. I sent back everything he ever gave me. That was really hard for me. Like really hard. I sat in my car and cried for two hours after I mailed the box. I'm Buddhist so the next time I chant for people I will include you. I really hope that happiness comes your way. You sound like a very intelligent person and some one who feels very deeply when it comes to people you care for. I truly hope the universe shines down on you and makes all your dreams come true. . |
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| Adele – Hello Lyrics | 10 years ago |
| Argh forgot to add when he said he didn't care he didn't mean it. He was just saying things out of anger and hurt. | |
| Adele – Hello Lyrics | 10 years ago |
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@[kukricowboy:7055] I really liked how you worded this. I just first heard this song today. Made me think of a man I have been truly, utterly in love with for over 10 years. We met when I was very young around 22 and he was 32. I was hurting so very much and he was there for me as a friend. I fell for him after 3 years. He left my life shortly after because he let someone tell him who I was. It hurt but I don't hate him for it. It has abeen a touch and go relationship since then. He told me he never loved me or cared so I did as he asked and I moved on yet, I am unhappy. Well, I am happy with my life but unhappy because he is not in it and I am not sharing it with him. He walked out of my life a few months back. I wasn't very kind with my words and he took them wrong. I don't think he realizes that my heart beats for him. I feel completely dead inside without him. I know he thinks it was just some sueprficial feelings on my part but it wasn't. I have had realtionships but none have equaled to him in anyway. I bawled my eyes out when I heard this song. It made my heart hurt for him even more. I only wish he knew how much I loved him. He always comes into my life when it's hectic and I am understress which causes me to lash out. i feel he has never really given me a chance to show him who I really am. I'm married now...it's okay but my heart has always belonged to him. And it always will. I gave him my heart so many any years ago and I don't think he realized it or ever will. I guess that's the fear that he hasn't seen me as the woman I am now at 34 instead of the girl I was at 23. He is so cold on the outside. It seems like it really doesn't phase him at all and he just threw me aside and moved on. I feel like he never even gave me a chance and let so many people tell him who I was and never learned for himself. I guess it hurts the most for me when I tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me, he just doesn't want to believe it. That's what kills me. I know why now my realtionships never worked out, it's because instinctualy knew I was meant to be with him. He may not feel the sam but I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life then settle for a man whom I'm not in love with just to fill the void that he made in my heart. There is just no one else like him. We live thousands of miles apart. Him on the east coast me on the west coast. Seeing him smile on Skype and hearing his laugh will haunt me for the rest of my life knowing that was the probably the last time I will ever see him. I've apologizd to him a few times for the all the mistakes I felt I made with him but he has always told me that it wasn't me but yet I feel it was. I feel like I wasn't enough for him. I'm not the typical woman he would be with. i'm not thin or beautiful. I'm just a plane Jane and always felt that I was ust there for him until his 'Mrs. Right" came along but I fell for him in the process. I'd give anything just to feel his arms around me and tell me I'm the one. The song brought just completely brought all these emotions out and made me wish I could just tell him how much I loved him. I truly hope you and this girl make it to where you want it to go. May you both find renewed love in each other if it's meant to be. :) |
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